The ever over hyped, loved, hated, dismissed, depressing, fun holiday. Valentine's day.
Every Feb. 14 of my life I have spent alone, except for one and it was in vain for she did not love me back. i've grown up and im no longer angry or jealous that so many around me have someone, it just makes me...alone.
Part of me is afraid to get close to people because I'm afraid that they're going to leave me, in fact I'm afraid to get close to somebody because I don't know how you're suppose to do it.
People often say "you try too hard" or "It will happen when you least suspect it" and it goes on and on. After 24 years I wonder it has to be me, different women, same results. This isn't a pity, just an observation.
All my close friends are married or in serious relationships, some have beautiful, wonderful children too. I believe in love and that it's the purest emotion but so much I see love taken for granted, people taken for granted.
Men destroy what loves them. Women love what destroys them. So much I see people; single, married, dating unhealthy situations. Its nothing new and this wont will unlikely change or open a persons mind but I need to express it. I have a theory on why women are attracted to bad boys ie douche bags. This type of guys have balls, their confident and confidence goes a long way. Also its been programmed into the hearts and minds of women that you can change them. That all bad boys have a soft spot that has been countless portrayed in films, television and pop culture. Like James Dean, the good looking bad boy with the heart of gold. Sadly most guys in this group are often the opposite of Prince Charming, and it can lead to violence, ownership and sexual abuse, sadly I bet there is at least one person reading this that has been sexual assault by a ex boyfriend and Im truly sorry, you didnt deserve it no matter what you feel.
Nobody wants to be alone, yes we all like to be alone at times but no one wants to be alone, anything who says otherwise is lying to themselves, its human nature to find a mate, a partner, a connection. Often I believe women stay with abusers and shitheels because of fear, fear of being alone or not being good enough for somebody else, not true ladies. Fear of being hurt too, Ive known people who have stay with people they hated out of fear. I know its always so simple but are you happy?
A side one of how love and people are mistreated. So be thankful that you have someone in your life that loves you and is there waiting in your nice warm bed, because others don't have such a luxury.
Like I said i'm no longer angry or jealous, just full of melancholy. Loneliness for over 2 years is a road that I wish had a better detour.
Every Feb. 14 of my life I have spent alone, except for one and it was in vain for she did not love me back. i've grown up and im no longer angry or jealous that so many around me have someone, it just makes me...alone.
Part of me is afraid to get close to people because I'm afraid that they're going to leave me, in fact I'm afraid to get close to somebody because I don't know how you're suppose to do it.
People often say "you try too hard" or "It will happen when you least suspect it" and it goes on and on. After 24 years I wonder it has to be me, different women, same results. This isn't a pity, just an observation.
All my close friends are married or in serious relationships, some have beautiful, wonderful children too. I believe in love and that it's the purest emotion but so much I see love taken for granted, people taken for granted.
Men destroy what loves them. Women love what destroys them. So much I see people; single, married, dating unhealthy situations. Its nothing new and this wont will unlikely change or open a persons mind but I need to express it. I have a theory on why women are attracted to bad boys ie douche bags. This type of guys have balls, their confident and confidence goes a long way. Also its been programmed into the hearts and minds of women that you can change them. That all bad boys have a soft spot that has been countless portrayed in films, television and pop culture. Like James Dean, the good looking bad boy with the heart of gold. Sadly most guys in this group are often the opposite of Prince Charming, and it can lead to violence, ownership and sexual abuse, sadly I bet there is at least one person reading this that has been sexual assault by a ex boyfriend and Im truly sorry, you didnt deserve it no matter what you feel.
Nobody wants to be alone, yes we all like to be alone at times but no one wants to be alone, anything who says otherwise is lying to themselves, its human nature to find a mate, a partner, a connection. Often I believe women stay with abusers and shitheels because of fear, fear of being alone or not being good enough for somebody else, not true ladies. Fear of being hurt too, Ive known people who have stay with people they hated out of fear. I know its always so simple but are you happy?
A side one of how love and people are mistreated. So be thankful that you have someone in your life that loves you and is there waiting in your nice warm bed, because others don't have such a luxury.
Like I said i'm no longer angry or jealous, just full of melancholy. Loneliness for over 2 years is a road that I wish had a better detour.
briscoe:
thank you dear 
keep your chin up <3
keep your chin up <3
amarena:
I didn't pay the 300 bucks to send out for the specialty part. l'm getting a new laptop instead. 