31 hours of working non-stop without sleep can change your mind and destroy it body, which for me it nearly did.
From June 11-13 I signed up for the national 48 hour film challenge, in which within 2 days I had to make a short film with their rules and guide lines. Sounds simply enough, right?
I worked non-stop only sleeping 7 hours towards the very end and I failed, the film was not completed on time.
People who I thought were my friends, all ditched me, nobody would help me after I ask them for help on these days a month ago.
I have all raw footage, all I must do now is edit it together, which it will take a while but I need to finish it, something inside me, a drive is telling I have to do this, not for this already over contest but for myself.
Towards the end I was in tears (literally) and my Dad saw me, now he has never encougared me or told me he was proud of me or anything like that in life.
Not saying he was cold or unsupportive he was just emotionless. Either way I felt so embrassed in this scene and angry and pissed at the world and all my "friends" for letting me down, then my dad said something to me, something that I always needed to hear from him. He said:
"Nothing in the universe can stop you except yourself, conquer yourself and your indestructable. You tried, how many people can be honest and say they even did that? You gotta be willing to take the hit, and not point fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Losers do that and that ain't you."
(My dad and I)
So Im going to continue on and complete this film the best I can and not for anyone else but myself. The film is called "The Last Laugh" its a film noir about a detective looking for the murderer of the beloved neighbor clown. (It was the rules)
I will post updates on the film as it comes closer to being complete.
I apologize to anyone I haven't wrote or replied to on here recently, its never anything personal, I enjoy all your friendship and company.
Thanks for reading this far and giving a shit.
clio:
aw thank you