I've already lost hope.
All the problems, they don't matter now.
All the pain and regret, I can forget it now.
None of those things even matter, not at this moment.
I offer her help but she refuses.
I can't pretend to be the parent any longer.
I am tired of being the one who listens.
Do I never want to cry?
Do I not struggle not only with myself, but also, take on all your problems as well?
What about my life, what about my dreams?
Have we not experienced enough destruction, enough death by these means in our lives to realize it just isn't worth it?
It's not worth losing your family over.
I hoped it was not worth losing me over, your own daughter.
So, now I need to make another difficult choice.
I cannot live in a house where I am surrounded by addiction anymore.
Not anymore, not again, not ever.
I don't want to sacrifice my school to attempt to make ends meet on my own.
I'm still in debt from doing it the first time, when I was forced to leave the first time.
I shouldn't have to choose between my education, the rest of my life, or living in a constant battle, wondering if you're ever sober or not.
Wondering if tonight she'll be okay, or if I'll have to listen to you call me awful names.
Today was the last I can bear of it.
The last time I will ever offer my help, and as you once again reject it, it is the last I am able to give it you.
If you need help later, I simply cannot be there for you.
You made your choice a long time ago, each time I try and fix it you lie and try to keep it from me.
You just don't care.
The more you lose, the worse you get.
You are seriously on the brink of losing everything, why?
Things really arn't that bad.
They really, really arn't.
The more I try, the more you shut me out.
I don't want to lose another parent to alcohol.
Why the fuck do I have to tell you that?
And why, even after I do, do you still try and blame me for your problems.
How are those words not strong enough?
Now I have nothing more to say.
Those words, so strong, so true, I tell you with everything that I have left that I need to have a Mother do you just sit there and tell me no.
I have only just realized that it is inevitable.
I need to brace myself.
I am losing you.
Whether today or 3 years now, it will be too soon.
It will be before your time.
Whether accidental or on purpose, I can't help but think you'll be gone soon.
Really gone, like my Father, and then, I will really be left with nothing...
And apparently the thought of that isn't a will enough to stop.
All the problems, they don't matter now.
All the pain and regret, I can forget it now.
None of those things even matter, not at this moment.
I offer her help but she refuses.
I can't pretend to be the parent any longer.
I am tired of being the one who listens.
Do I never want to cry?
Do I not struggle not only with myself, but also, take on all your problems as well?
What about my life, what about my dreams?
Have we not experienced enough destruction, enough death by these means in our lives to realize it just isn't worth it?
It's not worth losing your family over.
I hoped it was not worth losing me over, your own daughter.
So, now I need to make another difficult choice.
I cannot live in a house where I am surrounded by addiction anymore.
Not anymore, not again, not ever.
I don't want to sacrifice my school to attempt to make ends meet on my own.
I'm still in debt from doing it the first time, when I was forced to leave the first time.
I shouldn't have to choose between my education, the rest of my life, or living in a constant battle, wondering if you're ever sober or not.
Wondering if tonight she'll be okay, or if I'll have to listen to you call me awful names.
Today was the last I can bear of it.
The last time I will ever offer my help, and as you once again reject it, it is the last I am able to give it you.
If you need help later, I simply cannot be there for you.
You made your choice a long time ago, each time I try and fix it you lie and try to keep it from me.
You just don't care.
The more you lose, the worse you get.
You are seriously on the brink of losing everything, why?
Things really arn't that bad.
They really, really arn't.
The more I try, the more you shut me out.
I don't want to lose another parent to alcohol.
Why the fuck do I have to tell you that?
And why, even after I do, do you still try and blame me for your problems.
How are those words not strong enough?
Now I have nothing more to say.
Those words, so strong, so true, I tell you with everything that I have left that I need to have a Mother do you just sit there and tell me no.
I have only just realized that it is inevitable.
I need to brace myself.
I am losing you.
Whether today or 3 years now, it will be too soon.
It will be before your time.
Whether accidental or on purpose, I can't help but think you'll be gone soon.
Really gone, like my Father, and then, I will really be left with nothing...
And apparently the thought of that isn't a will enough to stop.