i am in a totally wierd mood at the moment and not sure if writing my thoughs down is a good idea but ...what the hell lets see where this goes.
i have a great life fun jobs,a house, cool friends and a very loving wife .
But there is one thing that i want most in the world and i cant have and that is a son.due to some surcomstances
when i was growing up i was told that i count have kids and have lived with that fact.then along came tracey. after being with her for a few years she wanted a baby that i count give her .sowe desided to look into I.V.F. treatment because i had lived with the fact that i coundnt have kids i didnt feel the earge to have them and had to go though a prosess of maybe wanting them at some point so we could do the I.V.F..
after a while of soul searching i desised that i wanted them so we tried the I.V.F..
it failed.
the process wasa difficult and painfull one (emotionally and phically )for both of us and we disided that we would put it to the side for a while and get on with living and enjoying our lives . so we didbut i started to crave new exspreances and new adventures that some poeple would not agree with the more i did the more things that i wanted to do lately i discovered why i had become like that and that was i was compasating for not having a child and i wanting that more than anything in the world .tracey has found that going for her dream job has helped her get past it but nothing has helped me.
this has come to pass in an emotional exslosion with tracey wich upset us both at the end of it we disidedthat we will look into I.V.F. treatment again but only if we both want to.
i just wish that the yearning for a child would go away becaouse i cant stand it.
i have a great life fun jobs,a house, cool friends and a very loving wife .
But there is one thing that i want most in the world and i cant have and that is a son.due to some surcomstances
when i was growing up i was told that i count have kids and have lived with that fact.then along came tracey. after being with her for a few years she wanted a baby that i count give her .sowe desided to look into I.V.F. treatment because i had lived with the fact that i coundnt have kids i didnt feel the earge to have them and had to go though a prosess of maybe wanting them at some point so we could do the I.V.F..
after a while of soul searching i desised that i wanted them so we tried the I.V.F..
it failed.
the process wasa difficult and painfull one (emotionally and phically )for both of us and we disided that we would put it to the side for a while and get on with living and enjoying our lives . so we didbut i started to crave new exspreances and new adventures that some poeple would not agree with the more i did the more things that i wanted to do lately i discovered why i had become like that and that was i was compasating for not having a child and i wanting that more than anything in the world .tracey has found that going for her dream job has helped her get past it but nothing has helped me.
this has come to pass in an emotional exslosion with tracey wich upset us both at the end of it we disidedthat we will look into I.V.F. treatment again but only if we both want to.
i just wish that the yearning for a child would go away becaouse i cant stand it.
You and trace need to really think about whether it is something that you both want. Only do this if you really want kids not just because you think you should for trace. IVF doesn't work for everyone. Try not to put so much pressure on it working, it if doesn't work, it doesn't work, there's nothing anyone can do about it. You still have an amazing wife and a fantastic step daughter. I know how much you want kids of your own, but unfortunately it doesn't happen for everyone. Have you discussed adoption with trace? Alright, it's not the same as your own children but if the IVF doesn't work again, it is an option. There are hundreds of babies and children without families that need someone to love them and raise them... One day, however it may happen, you're really going to make amazing parents. But, like I said Alex, don't put too much pressure on it.. just go with the flow and see what happens..
I need to pop into work at some point next week anyway to pick something up so I'll come and find you. Talk to you soon xxx