Well I went to Richmond for about a week. I must say it was very disheartening.
Sometimes I feel as though I am cursed. See I went there, yes to party but that was not it. I went there to meet someone whom I had grown to spend so much time communicating with. Some how I fucked that up. This time though out of all the times I've tried to meet someone online seemed like it went well for the most part. Excluding the final night there, I wasn't weird or anything. I tried to be respectful but there was a wall on her part that I couldn't bypass. I didn't think it was my fault or anything and I still really don't. Perhaps I came across like I was trying to buy her affections. In the end I was not. I just tried to be there to be helpful because I wanted her to have fun. I wanted to put a smile on her face. I was kind of shy which made me rather tongue tied a lot of times. In the end I am starting to think that meeting people from online doesn't work or at least doesn't for me. The kind of girls I am interested in are spirited, individualistic, out spoken, and yes a little crazy. I think if I met the women that typically adore me and posess few of any of those traits it would never be a problem. In the end I come to realize people have this ideal that they anticipate on when they come to meet me. I think perhaps it is rather unrealistic. Perhaps a lot of people have this problem. Or it could simply be that I am crazy. Maybe it's that in this instance I had trouble being my forward, flirty and dare to say whatever that comes across my mind. It's always been easier for me to speak my mind in written word rather than vocally I think. I think perhaps it is my mild case of socialphobia that kicks in making me trip over every word.
It's funny, I had no trouble having so many females gawking at me when I was at the clubs or dancing. Frankly I just wasn't that interested in anyone else. I wanted that openess that I had so grown accustomed to sharing with this girl I am referring to. Then when she finally could work up the courage to tell me I was too depressed to even be that enthusiastic about meeting someone else.
So now I come to the point where there is a terrible awkwardness between us and I feel as though I lost a person that I enjoyed passing so many hours of every day with. I couldn't help shedding a few tears over it because each and every one of those hours was so special to me. Now they are gone and I know that even if we do talk again in some regular form or fashion that it will be different. I feel like I did something wrong but I really can't see as how I really did.....</3
Other than that shit the time wasn't all bad. I got to dance lots. I sure as hell got my ego fed by many a lady and erm...some questionable men in ladies clothing. lol!
The last night, oh god that was bad. lol! I certainly am the master of impressions. See it was one of the few nights I didn't have to drive to a club because I was being picked up. I really wished my ride could have been earlier because since he wasn't there sooner, I had more time bored and to drink. I don't really remember much after leaving the hotel till I was woken up at the club apparently sleeping with my back to a wall. I was wasted and my first somewhat clear memories after the hotel are available to me to recall were after being awoken. I was being kicked out for apparently sleeping and kicking the walls. I can only assume that A. I was pissed about something or B. I was dancing very eratically and was accidentally kicking it. I must have insulted some girl whom I did not even know who she was. All I know is I had some girl I didn't even know whom was very mad at me. I was being told after much prying for info that there was a girl with a major stick up her ass over me for some reason that was not divulged to me. That's not surprising though because hell, I have had people mad at me at clubs just for taking up too much space on the dance floor. Whatever the case I get back in after much talking. Then I go to the bathroom and walk back up through the club and the manager or whomever it was was telling me that I needed to sit down because this girl was bitching hardcore about me even being there. All of a sudden I was like fuck this after sitting down. I intended to go to my ride and ask him to please take me back to the hotel. The guy whom sat me down got pissed, grabbed me and literally shoved my ass out the door to which I landed rather harshly on the sidewalk. I was fairly pissed off at this point and I was just going off. I was not in one bit of a good mood and my mouth was flapping. The girl with the problem with me comes outside and joins in the argument. I don't really remember a lot of what I said or they said besides the fact that when she jumped into it that it pissed me off because I felt as though it was really none of her business. Naturally, given the fuck it attitude paired along with being fairly ripped mouthed off at her. She fucking slugged me in the face! lol! I believe that is the second girl of all time whom has ever punched me. I put my hand to my face and said something to the affect that I was glad she wasn't my gf and that she hit like a girl. lol! This was funny because I said a couple other things along with calling her a bitch and she was about to attack me and was held off by the guy who was kicking me out.
Most of all of this was very confusing to me and I was just in a pissed off mood. I am already not congenial when I get woken up but when I get a really rude awakening, and it's when I am fucked up watch out. lol! Granted it was my fault for drinking early and passing out. I really shouldn't have done that and now I realize that I have learned a lesson in that regard. Too much alcohol knocks your ass out eventually. lol! Then you get a fist against your cheek from a fairly hot girl with some serious anger management issues. Seriously, I rarely understand how people let their anger get to them so bad that they are willing to throw swings over it.
After all of that I was told that if I didn't wait in the car till the club was ready to close and my friends were ready to leave that a large guy was going to come outside and kick my ass for being a pain in the ass.
I tell you I was in a ripe ass mood when they finally got back to the car. I was freezing my ass off and they took longer than expected. I said some fairly rude things to them because I was still rather pissed off about all this shit. I know it wasn't their fault but I was still fucked up, cold as shit and mad as hell about some shit that I really didn't understand about the whole evening. Hell, I'd still like to know what the fuck was wrong with that girl. lol!
I guess shit happens. The biggest thing is just to learn from your mistakes and I think as far as that night went I learned at least one.
The whole trip was a learning experience though. At least I got to have fun with my true love which is the dance floor. I also entertained many people with it and made some new friends...at least I hope they still are after the last night. lol!
Halloween is almost upon me. God damn I hope this one is worth a crap unlike so many others. I'm going to do my best this time to make sure this one is at least. C'mon gods, you can give a gothboi one good halloween again. I think I got that coming at least.
Sometimes I feel as though I am cursed. See I went there, yes to party but that was not it. I went there to meet someone whom I had grown to spend so much time communicating with. Some how I fucked that up. This time though out of all the times I've tried to meet someone online seemed like it went well for the most part. Excluding the final night there, I wasn't weird or anything. I tried to be respectful but there was a wall on her part that I couldn't bypass. I didn't think it was my fault or anything and I still really don't. Perhaps I came across like I was trying to buy her affections. In the end I was not. I just tried to be there to be helpful because I wanted her to have fun. I wanted to put a smile on her face. I was kind of shy which made me rather tongue tied a lot of times. In the end I am starting to think that meeting people from online doesn't work or at least doesn't for me. The kind of girls I am interested in are spirited, individualistic, out spoken, and yes a little crazy. I think if I met the women that typically adore me and posess few of any of those traits it would never be a problem. In the end I come to realize people have this ideal that they anticipate on when they come to meet me. I think perhaps it is rather unrealistic. Perhaps a lot of people have this problem. Or it could simply be that I am crazy. Maybe it's that in this instance I had trouble being my forward, flirty and dare to say whatever that comes across my mind. It's always been easier for me to speak my mind in written word rather than vocally I think. I think perhaps it is my mild case of socialphobia that kicks in making me trip over every word.
It's funny, I had no trouble having so many females gawking at me when I was at the clubs or dancing. Frankly I just wasn't that interested in anyone else. I wanted that openess that I had so grown accustomed to sharing with this girl I am referring to. Then when she finally could work up the courage to tell me I was too depressed to even be that enthusiastic about meeting someone else.
So now I come to the point where there is a terrible awkwardness between us and I feel as though I lost a person that I enjoyed passing so many hours of every day with. I couldn't help shedding a few tears over it because each and every one of those hours was so special to me. Now they are gone and I know that even if we do talk again in some regular form or fashion that it will be different. I feel like I did something wrong but I really can't see as how I really did.....</3
Other than that shit the time wasn't all bad. I got to dance lots. I sure as hell got my ego fed by many a lady and erm...some questionable men in ladies clothing. lol!
The last night, oh god that was bad. lol! I certainly am the master of impressions. See it was one of the few nights I didn't have to drive to a club because I was being picked up. I really wished my ride could have been earlier because since he wasn't there sooner, I had more time bored and to drink. I don't really remember much after leaving the hotel till I was woken up at the club apparently sleeping with my back to a wall. I was wasted and my first somewhat clear memories after the hotel are available to me to recall were after being awoken. I was being kicked out for apparently sleeping and kicking the walls. I can only assume that A. I was pissed about something or B. I was dancing very eratically and was accidentally kicking it. I must have insulted some girl whom I did not even know who she was. All I know is I had some girl I didn't even know whom was very mad at me. I was being told after much prying for info that there was a girl with a major stick up her ass over me for some reason that was not divulged to me. That's not surprising though because hell, I have had people mad at me at clubs just for taking up too much space on the dance floor. Whatever the case I get back in after much talking. Then I go to the bathroom and walk back up through the club and the manager or whomever it was was telling me that I needed to sit down because this girl was bitching hardcore about me even being there. All of a sudden I was like fuck this after sitting down. I intended to go to my ride and ask him to please take me back to the hotel. The guy whom sat me down got pissed, grabbed me and literally shoved my ass out the door to which I landed rather harshly on the sidewalk. I was fairly pissed off at this point and I was just going off. I was not in one bit of a good mood and my mouth was flapping. The girl with the problem with me comes outside and joins in the argument. I don't really remember a lot of what I said or they said besides the fact that when she jumped into it that it pissed me off because I felt as though it was really none of her business. Naturally, given the fuck it attitude paired along with being fairly ripped mouthed off at her. She fucking slugged me in the face! lol! I believe that is the second girl of all time whom has ever punched me. I put my hand to my face and said something to the affect that I was glad she wasn't my gf and that she hit like a girl. lol! This was funny because I said a couple other things along with calling her a bitch and she was about to attack me and was held off by the guy who was kicking me out.
Most of all of this was very confusing to me and I was just in a pissed off mood. I am already not congenial when I get woken up but when I get a really rude awakening, and it's when I am fucked up watch out. lol! Granted it was my fault for drinking early and passing out. I really shouldn't have done that and now I realize that I have learned a lesson in that regard. Too much alcohol knocks your ass out eventually. lol! Then you get a fist against your cheek from a fairly hot girl with some serious anger management issues. Seriously, I rarely understand how people let their anger get to them so bad that they are willing to throw swings over it.
After all of that I was told that if I didn't wait in the car till the club was ready to close and my friends were ready to leave that a large guy was going to come outside and kick my ass for being a pain in the ass.
I tell you I was in a ripe ass mood when they finally got back to the car. I was freezing my ass off and they took longer than expected. I said some fairly rude things to them because I was still rather pissed off about all this shit. I know it wasn't their fault but I was still fucked up, cold as shit and mad as hell about some shit that I really didn't understand about the whole evening. Hell, I'd still like to know what the fuck was wrong with that girl. lol!
I guess shit happens. The biggest thing is just to learn from your mistakes and I think as far as that night went I learned at least one.
The whole trip was a learning experience though. At least I got to have fun with my true love which is the dance floor. I also entertained many people with it and made some new friends...at least I hope they still are after the last night. lol!
Halloween is almost upon me. God damn I hope this one is worth a crap unlike so many others. I'm going to do my best this time to make sure this one is at least. C'mon gods, you can give a gothboi one good halloween again. I think I got that coming at least.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
Die Alive type thing you have so much more fun this way