verse

A little explanation: The triple moon symbol is very dear to my heart. It is the symbol of the Goddess. It represents, among many things, the three aspects of life: Maiden, Mother, Crone. I played around with the 'wave' idea for another tattoo I wanted and decided to incorporate that into this one. I connect with the spiral shape too and really like the suggestion of either one or both in my design. I originally wanted black, with maybe some color accents or added on later in an expansion, but I think the blue is much better to give the watery feel and plus, it's pretty. I like the trinity I maintained through the piece as well. I'm pretty pleased with it. I think I want this done on the back of my neck. We'll see though. I'm going to work with an artist in Tulsa and finalize plans when I'm there this summer... so long to wait.

I'm feeling very blah today. Like VERY.

I'm fed up with people and their ideas of social conformity. Where are these 'normal' people? I've never met a single one. So why are we all trying to hide who we are? It's freaking stupid.

I'm getting more and more homesick. I hate it. I want to be happy here. I really think I should be, but I miss so much back home that I never thought I would (and so much more I knew all along I would). I'm looking forward to visiting so, so much... but I have this horrible pain in my stomach at the thought of coming back and I haven't even gone yet! I looked up ticket fares again today and I found one on United (the one we already have frequent flyer miles with) for the same as the 'cheaper' Delta flight I was debating about. So that's good... but then I decided to check on the flight from Misawa to Tokyo and all I came up with was half the price of the damn international flight. This is not making me happy at all. I need to go to ITT and see if they can do better.

I have an appointment Tuesday to get some prescriptions re-filled/ re-written which I've been putting off way too long. That'll make me feel good. My goal Monday is to call the vet (or go by) and try to find some in-home pet sitting service for Koko while I'm State-side... I'm worried about her being alone for all that time in our house... but I don't know if a kennel would be much better. Poor baby kitty. I should be able to take her with me if people can take screaming babies on planes. Do you have to buy a ticket for a baby? You have to pay out the ass for a pet... hmmm...

I spend entirely too much time on the computer. I have no motivation to change this, but I keep thinking it. I guess in Tulsa I watched t.v. pretty constantly.. but at least I left the house most days. I don't really know where this thought is going, so I'll just end it.

I really like the song "Lithium" by Evanescence right now. I listen to it a lot... that and that Amy Lee/ Korn "Freak on a Leash" remake... I think that pretty accurately reflects my mood.

I know in my heart that this phase will pass in my life. I know without the bad there is no good. Without the depression there is no joy. Without the dark there can be no light at the end of the tunnel. I just wish the tunnel was shorter.