venla

Sometimes when you try to change the ideals, the ideals start to change you. When I was 15 I wanted to make the whole world better and I tried to be perfectly ethical. Believe me, it was possible for a while. And exhausting. And within the years I started to worry about other things so much that I couldn't remember my noble principles. Other things like time, money and such. Now I'm far from perfect and perhaps a bit happier. But not as good person I used to be. And it saddens me.

I think it's the same with this site. It started as a small, artsy and marginal. Now it's huge, well-known and different. And I'm not sayin different as bas thing. Just different. I joined SG just few years ago but I remember kinda different site. One with amateur photography of giggly girls and their lives. Now everything seems to be more professional, polished and -I'm afraid- less personal. I'm not saying someone's messy bedroom and crappy photography makes a set more personal. But sometimes when looking at set I can see that the photography, lightning, setting, photoshopping and girl herself are all perfect but there's nothing much more to say. Yes, she has perfect skin, long limbs and flawless boobs. But where is the story, the personality, the empowerement or the change? Yes, that's whats most of you are paying - to see boobs. And the staff has pointed out that they actually aren't looking for sets with themes but great photography. But I can see boobs at home so I joined for different reasons, one of them was my love of old school pin ups. I never liked the hustler-style porn and I'm afraid of the modern playgirls who look more like fembots that actual living beings with feelings. But I loved the pinups here. Cute as button, sexy as hell. And I wanted to be one of them. But it seems that either the staff is preferring the more graphic sets or there are more of them sent in. (And to the girls wanting to do such - do as you will, I'm not telling you to stop it.) It's just that when the majority of sets going live seem to differ from the ideals I had in mind when joining, sending in a new sets is a bit hard. I know that shooting a kick-ass theme would make it go up even if there was a pussyfactor (I really don't know if there is one, perhaps with three times more girls there is a vast majority of girls preferring those) I'm afraid that most of the members knowing only this 'new' sg would tag me as 'boring', 'ugly' and 'why are you sg if don't want to show us any pussy'. I wouldn't be hurt (my sets have been tagged with offensive tags) but I'd feel that I'm not on the same site with those people. And no, this is not one of those "there are too many/not the right kinds of suicidegirls" posts. All you girls are wonderful and I respect your choices of potraying yourselves whatever way you choose. But am I the one clining to the past? Are the retro girls completely pass? Who would build me a time machine?

Maybe I should stick to photography and try to shoot some sets with the girls in this corner of the world. After all the sg sets are really nice to shoot. And plan. And photoshop. Ngggh. I wish I had joined few years earlier so I would have had the time to shoot everything I've planned. Now I'm just boring and old and afraid of the changes. I'm turning into fossile. Yep.

I should be reading for the exam tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Too much work and school lately. I love both but my days are only 24 hours long.

xx
-Venla