velocity

My new neighbor has lived below me for only a week, but already I know so many things about her:

-She loves wind chimes in great quantities, and has multiple sets of them hanging underneath my bedroom windows.
-Her cat is in heat.
-She thinks that midnight is an appropriate time for a salsa techno dance party.
-She thinks two in the morning is an appropriate time to hammer together Ikea shelves.

And here are some things she is about to learn about me:

-I will call the cops for loud music every time it happens, especially if it's bad music.
-I will also call animal control if I hear a cat yowling all night.
-I have just decided that 6:30 in the morning is a perfect time for very loud marital relations, directly above her bedroom windows.
-I am not above paying hoboes to commit wind chime vandalism.

Seriously, wind chimes have to be the most anti-social shit in the world. You want to be that much of a douche? Get a fucking house where you can make all the noise you want. You want to live communally in an apartment building? Stop being anti-social and shut the hell up.