I lasted a whole ten months in Reno, NV. Last year in August I visited one my best friends there for my birthday vacation. When I got there I was hypnotized by the mountains and the little big city. The dry air and hot weather made me feel so happy and I just knew that my next step was to take the plunge to move there. I came back the 8th of October on a plane with a few suitcases and no car, no family, just my best friend was there to "support" me.
I felt very stuck, I had no way but expensive uber rides to explore since I seemed to forget how much of a recluse my best friend was. Her and her boyfriend fought everyday, very much so that it wore me out and made me feel like I was in a relationship to, behind a glass cage with no way to say anything.. I was terrified to move in with these two, but I've always been the optimistic one.
One month later, after many fights between me and my best friend, and her and her boyfriend, we found a sweet little two bedroom two bathroom apartment for $960 a month. I still had no job but had money saved that I could pay rent for another two months without working, but I've always worked two-three jobs since I was 19 and didn't know what to do with myself. Once we moved in, the fighting between the two escalated to the point where I was afraid we were going to have neighbors or the police knocking on our door. I tried to give advice to the both of them, but nothing worked, it just got worse and worse. For the first 5 months I was there my mind went into a very dark place, I felt like I was doing the wrong thing and didn't feel in the right place. All we did was go out and drink, and I got black out drunk every single time. I cried a lot, I didn't understand why. After having a two day violent hangover I decided that going out wasn't something I was interested in either... but how would I make new friends that way? I drew a lot, and wrote some poetry here and there. I sat in my room and binge-watched Netflix. When they were both at work, I cleaned my ass off, and then when the apartment was nice and tidy I sat down and I really took a look at myself and who I have become the past 5 years. I've been through hell and back, and I knew this was just another lesson in my journey. There were so many people back home who tried to reach out to me, tried to be my friend but I was afraid, for the longest time I didn't understand why. I started thinking back to the way me and my best friend fought, and then I understood. I was afraid of making another friend like her, but I was also afraid to let go. That's something that scares me about myself the most, I am the type of person that will go to great lengths to make anything work. The amount of mental manipulation and abuse that someone I called a best friend did to me was a realization in epiphany, and it was something I thought I deserved the past 7 years of our friendship. Ultimately the only work I could come up for it was TOXIC. This person has depleted all the self-esteem and self-worth I have worked so hard for. I was walking on eggshells in my own home and cleaning up the mess afterwards, figuratively and literally.
I distanced myself for the rest of my time there, I mean I really tried to. I was afraid she would notice that too. I worked four different jobs one was at Tillys, then The Vapory, Ampersand Salon, and Noble Pie Pizza Parlour. My favorite things to do were to go to Lake Tahoe on my days off and work at Noble Pie. There's just something about feeding people something you've made from scratch that is unexplained. Oh man, Lake Tahoe is just breath-taking, the first couple times I went there my eyes teared up, its just that beautiful.
So to wrap up this story that could be longer but I'll make it short, my 25th birthday was this August on the 18th. Me and my best friend went out to dinner, she paid, which was nice of her. Then we headed to a bar called Monolith. There we had a couple cocktails and then I noticed my friend Tyler was sitting at the other end and waved him over. He bought us two drinks and we were all having a blast, well I thought we were anyways. Played a couple games of pool and headed over to The Stick, which had an upstairs and a DJ. Everything was going smoothly, best friend was a little more drunk than I was, but she didnt really like her dinner. Me and Tyler are standing there and her switch went off, she turns around and tells my friend I dont find him attractive and its time for us to go. NOW I stood up for myself. this seems like I could be not that big of a deal but you should have seen the look on Tyler's face :( ... I said "what the fuck did you just say?" She runs out, and I chase after her, she repeatedly tells me to fuck off and makes a huge scene. Tells me her boyfriend is about to pick her up, so she's leaving me alone on my birthday. That was it, that was my cherry on top. I've thought back to every other birthday she's been involved in, they were all terrible. I was done being sad, and I was done with Reno, NV also. I told her I was moving back home the next morning and that's when her true colors came out. She called me every name under the sun, told me I was insane for feeling like the victim, tells me I'm a piece of shit, anything you could think of.
So my REAL best friend who I've been friends with for 11 years, she flies out to Reno and we take the trip back to Jamestown, NY in my new car I got while I was in Reno. I packed all my shit alone in 4 days. I gotta say, driving across the country was not something I could have done alone, and I couldnt have picked a better person to make the trip with.
I'm happy to say we made it back in amazing timing, only took us 2.5 days. Talked about so many things that helped the both of us. Listened to so much metal, I love that girl. I'm back at the salon I used to work at and I'm already busy. Me and my ex-best-friend are no longer friends. I'm ultimately relieved and happy, and that's all that matters in the end. I don't regret moving to Reno, NV I learned so much about others and what I am capable of. I think living somewhere else is something everyone should experience at least once. But I am proud of my small town and the lovely people in it. The grass and the trees, the brick roads, Chautauqua Lake. My family is my glue that keeps me from falling apart. Cheers to happiness. <3
