When the term "manic depressive" runs in the family, it's hard to think normal, act normal, feel normal. I find myself going through cycles of extreme happiness and bliss. Then I am suddenly in hell.
For the past.. well at least 6 months straight (every single fucking night) I've been having vivid horrible night mares, the world ending, my friends doing horrible things to me, people close to me dying, rape scenes. I just cant get away from it.
I try the best I can to be positive and to force out the bad, but I cant shake this feeling lately.
anyone have any knowledge of manic depression ?
For the past.. well at least 6 months straight (every single fucking night) I've been having vivid horrible night mares, the world ending, my friends doing horrible things to me, people close to me dying, rape scenes. I just cant get away from it.
I try the best I can to be positive and to force out the bad, but I cant shake this feeling lately.
anyone have any knowledge of manic depression ?
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This really caught my eye when I saw it. I'm sorry to hear how much you've been struggling with this condition. My boyfriend has the same thing and has been going through a lot because of it this summer. At times the symptoms scare him more than actually harm or disturb him, but it is this fear that we manifest in our minds into somethings bigger that truly causes the problem. I see the word medication a great deal above this, and I'm going to tell you to avoid that step like your life depends on it. Like, until the symptoms are actually killing you. I believe that medication only aggravates the problem without giving you a proper lenses to view your own inner disorder. Work within yourself and you can avoid the need to detox or withdraw from powerful medication that often alters you body chemistry more. Perhaps the answer is not always to block out the pain, but rather to examine it fully and without apprehension. Ask yourself why these dreams may feel so strikingly real, map your thinking. Most often the causes of our inner problems are unknown to us but found within. One may not even believe there is a problem until they begin to have panic attacks. Always remember, there is no rhyme or reason, only stress causing these problems to manifest. Never forget these problems are real even though we can not see them, we are not controlled by unknown fates, we are what controls them. At times you may feel powerless to this disease, you are not the only one who fights unseen battles. Keep waging your wars and KEEP TALKING, the only way to understand is to look within, it is also the only way to get better. Never let fear overwhelm your sense, you have control, relax and breathe, nothing is UN-fightable because it is invisible. PM me if you'd like to talk more, would love to meet up some time, and discuss this some more, I'm in your area.
Keep fighting!
-Rabbs