I apologise for not talking or replying or messaging to anyone recently.
Communication seems to be going downhill on all fronts.
I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read my last post. The benefit of having not been around is the increased chances that everyone on my friends list actually has a chance to read through before I repost.
It is 245am on a Thursday morning.
History repeats itself. The pain returns. Things were not and yet exactly what they seemed. I have ended up in a role in Linda's life that I played in another before. The similarities are uncanny and painful. Even the timing is about the same. The story unchanged, just the scenery and the actors. I went behind the Tower where the party was held to have some time alone. I layed down on the cold granite to watch the sky and city lights. To collect my thoughts alone. Voices carried on the wind. I ignored them. More voices, other sounds. I turned my black-hooded head and it was Linda with another guy from the party. One who was there for the first time. Had never met Linda before. One I never thought would catch her interest but did. Despite her vows to remain single and focus on herself. They were in the shadow of the tower. They never saw me before. They never saw me leave. I was a background anomaly, not important enough to take note of. I took a taxi home. I knew this would happen but I still hoped. I am a stupid human being. I did not learn from my mistakes. I did not learn at all. Stupid stupid me. Stupid stupid stupid me.
I wish I would figure it out. I wish I wasn't so stupid. I wish I didn't have stupid hopes. I wish I didn't care. I wish I wasn't alone. I wish things would change. I wish I would change. I wish, I wish, I wish.
I'm so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. I hate myself.
I saw this coming.
****************************
She looks forward to the very story I wrote as the previous post. I have a little plush bunny rabbit. These gifts were made before this night. They are still sanctuary and she will still get them. I hope I can hide it well. I don't want to go through the song and dance again. or at least, I just want it accepted, and thus we move on. Whatever.
I'm so tired of a cold bed. I'm so tired of not having a second opinion about me holding my hand.
Tired, tired, tired.
Can I ever change it?
rant rant rant rant razzlefrazzlefrunumm rant rant rant....
Communication seems to be going downhill on all fronts.
I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read my last post. The benefit of having not been around is the increased chances that everyone on my friends list actually has a chance to read through before I repost.
It is 245am on a Thursday morning.
History repeats itself. The pain returns. Things were not and yet exactly what they seemed. I have ended up in a role in Linda's life that I played in another before. The similarities are uncanny and painful. Even the timing is about the same. The story unchanged, just the scenery and the actors. I went behind the Tower where the party was held to have some time alone. I layed down on the cold granite to watch the sky and city lights. To collect my thoughts alone. Voices carried on the wind. I ignored them. More voices, other sounds. I turned my black-hooded head and it was Linda with another guy from the party. One who was there for the first time. Had never met Linda before. One I never thought would catch her interest but did. Despite her vows to remain single and focus on herself. They were in the shadow of the tower. They never saw me before. They never saw me leave. I was a background anomaly, not important enough to take note of. I took a taxi home. I knew this would happen but I still hoped. I am a stupid human being. I did not learn from my mistakes. I did not learn at all. Stupid stupid me. Stupid stupid stupid me.
I wish I would figure it out. I wish I wasn't so stupid. I wish I didn't have stupid hopes. I wish I didn't care. I wish I wasn't alone. I wish things would change. I wish I would change. I wish, I wish, I wish.
I'm so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. I hate myself.
I saw this coming.
****************************
She looks forward to the very story I wrote as the previous post. I have a little plush bunny rabbit. These gifts were made before this night. They are still sanctuary and she will still get them. I hope I can hide it well. I don't want to go through the song and dance again. or at least, I just want it accepted, and thus we move on. Whatever.
I'm so tired of a cold bed. I'm so tired of not having a second opinion about me holding my hand.
Tired, tired, tired.
Can I ever change it?
rant rant rant rant razzlefrazzlefrunumm rant rant rant....
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
vastad:
Personal growth is a bitch isn't it?
tryptamine_____:
i am confused. when was i supposed to call you??