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vastad

United Kingdom

Member Since 2002

Followers 23 Following 14

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Monday Aug 11, 2003

Aug 11, 2003
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Ahh, it is so fucking frustrating trying to write when you're not feeling like you can write.

I'm trying to condense the last two weeks into an exciting picture-forming literary experience.

*sigh*

check out: http://www.tim.nu

I made friends with Timothy Owe of the site above 2 weeks ago. This is the guy I mentioned some journals ago whom I was so excited to make friends with. Both him and I are big big fans of Robert Anton Wilson. One of the most intelligent people I've met. To meet him was no accident. I will tell more in the forthcoming literary masterpiece.

***

Me and Linda had a bonding moment over the last two days, especially when I stood watch over her as she saw little people running around her apartment and 7 foot tall blue colored spirit people standing like menhirs. It wasn't scary or evil. But no matter how many times you see things like this, I'm sure one can never really get used to it. However I speak as one who is rather stuck to the 5 senses everybody else has.

She was going through a bad fever and the fever wreaks havoc with her sixth sense. She calls it a cleansing. I call it being sick as a dog. She receives stimuli I cannot understand or share. Several times she would point out things. Once there was a little person running around our feet under the coffee table. Another time, there was apparently an ethereal blue man standing right next to me at the foot of the sofa. I saw nothing. I choose the path of the Understanding Agnostic. I have no basis to disprove what she experienced, and whatever it was, to her it was real.

She was appreciative of the grounding effect I had and keeping her on Earth, and my general good company. For some reason, I kept thinking of a bright blue minty color, like one finds as a color for mint-flavored toothpaste or gum. This was the color I kept in my mind as my chosen aura color to help her.

She told me she has never ever let anyone see her in that state before. After the ordeal - which I shall share when I feel my creative writing can do the strange event justice - I was rewarded with a new level of intimacy. One I had a hard time sometimes not to take advantage of. But I'm a noble spirit if nothing else, and painfully gentlemanly when I think it is required.

We slept forehead-to-forehead, 2 arms entwined between us, our hot breaths mingling between our faces. She now spontaneously reaches out and touches my face, places her head against mine or just hugs me or reaches out to rest her arm through my elbow. All of which I drink up. I am sorely in need of physical affection. I am a repressed touchy-feely person from a family that never touches each other. I wish Wilhelm Reich was around for my childhood.

***

I will be gone to Vaxjo to see my faerie godmother. I probably won't have any internet access. So I'll see y'all on Thursday night.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
too:
have fun
Aug 14, 2003
blueeyedangel:
Wow seems like your relationship with linda has eveolved some since last I commented in your journal. That is great, and the intamacy she shared with you whether just fever dreams or visions seems much more signifigant than mere physical intamcy. I know how it can suck not to be physical with anyone for a long time. Right now I am in a relationship where we are pretty intense physically but not so much connected spiritually. Not because we arent compatible but because of my fear.

Basically I am guarded because we are match eachother so well in most areas I am scared of "losing myself" as I call it, scared to surrender like I will lose my freedom and I dont want to lose control.

So it stays stuck on the physical level until we figure ways to intergrate my fears or dissapate them. So I am just maintaining the status qou and thats all I can do for now. A few months or a year from now it will change as everything does, maybe to more spiritual level but maybe not.

The fact that you and Linda seem to alrady be able to share the spiritual intamcies you talk about may be a good thing afterall so that if you do become ramantic for lack of a better word then it will have a solid foundation to last even after the intial burn of passion fades as so often seems to do.

well have fun on your travels and adventures.
Aug 14, 2003

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