vanilla_bananie

the thunder and lightening last night was so insane. i had a headache and was trying to fall asleep listening to the rain hit the roof of the house...kind of almost hoping that it would cave in a we'd all be swept away forever...haha not really - but anyway seriously i was so close to being asleep after feeling like shit all day and then BAM thunder storms up the ass. don't get me wrong it was so cool, but i did want to sleep. at one point i thought someone was shooting at the house. it was pretty awesome. i was looking forward to it raining all day, but it stopped at 9am, and i was left with some sort of humid, overcast not fun day...which blows but what can you do about nature?

all this drama on here that i have no idea about is sort of making me feel like i'm 15 and back on IRC...luckily i haven't gotten to the point where i think this has anything to do with me, or that me getting involved would be a good idea...which i know won't happen. i've become more and more detatched with internet. i did catch myself reading the board for the show Amina was on, but after i kept reading the same thing over and over again i realized that it wasn't worth my time to sit there and read in turn making my eyes hurt. SO i took a nap instead.

i hate how people say they want to be your friend, and never talk to you at all. never say anything get involved in what's going on in your life, not even care. what's the definition of friendship to you people? i would really like to know, it it's to add another name to your list, count me out. i'd rather be alone in my own company than with a bunch of fakes who just need the status to appease some sort of self-conciousness. THANKS

i'm sick of being here...not here typing this, but here in Vista, and @ my job. it really sucks that everyday i go to work only to pine for the hour that i'm off just to go home and prepare to do it again the next day. for what? money? i hate money now. i used to think it'd bring happiness, but what price to you have to pay emotionally for that happiness? pretty steep for me i guess. i spoke with my co-worker about it the other day. we both work in the tech shop ...he's a tech and he's obtained another job to support his family because he'd rather kill himself by working two jobs than have his wife even think of trying to get another job. he's a sweet guy. he told me that he was sick of being @ compusa, too. it's really a stupid company run by a bunch of fucking idiots who haven't the first clue of customer service and technology. if they did, they would treat the people who actually work (including manual labor) with some fucking respect. i hate to say it, but i can't live off the shit they pay me, and i deserve more that some stupid little rich kid who's just working to have money to spend on that new designer shoe, or whatever the fuck these kids buy. but no! you would being a man who was a drug dealer and obtained most of his money through that type of field would have a little more respect for people who word hard for what they have, and earn...not just have it thrown to them on a silver fucking platter, but then again what do i know? i'm just a kid!