well i believe i will say that i was COMPLETELY wrong bout my last entry...my decision was WRONG - i haven't been this miserable in a long, long time...although i have lost 8lbs in a week..that's probably the only good thing..
i hate this place and i just want to go home to where i feel normal, and loved...looking at this house there are no pictures of me..and i'm the 'baby' not that it really bothers me, but damn don't tell me i'm 'your baby' and you don't want me to go and then obviously favor your middle son over your two other children...it's just insulting..i'm waiting for her to tell me i'm being too lazy when she specifically asked me to come here and just take a break and let her take care of me...yep i can see that happening...
i miss chris soo damn much..it's not even funny the more i think bout him the more i think how perfect we were together and that we understood eachother so well..but i know we had our problems..but i think the good was more than the bad..and i know if we were to work on it, it would be okay..and now that i'm not working for a company that drains me physically and mentally i can not be so bitchy towards him, and everyone else like i was a while ago..i'm just so sad all the time..i don't want to do anything but lie in bed all day..but i don't want my mom to see me in bed at 3:30 in the afternoon..but if i could i would..i'm just so over putting on this front that 'everything is okay' it's not..and i'm fucking miserable.
i hate this place and i just want to go home to where i feel normal, and loved...looking at this house there are no pictures of me..and i'm the 'baby' not that it really bothers me, but damn don't tell me i'm 'your baby' and you don't want me to go and then obviously favor your middle son over your two other children...it's just insulting..i'm waiting for her to tell me i'm being too lazy when she specifically asked me to come here and just take a break and let her take care of me...yep i can see that happening...
i miss chris soo damn much..it's not even funny the more i think bout him the more i think how perfect we were together and that we understood eachother so well..but i know we had our problems..but i think the good was more than the bad..and i know if we were to work on it, it would be okay..and now that i'm not working for a company that drains me physically and mentally i can not be so bitchy towards him, and everyone else like i was a while ago..i'm just so sad all the time..i don't want to do anything but lie in bed all day..but i don't want my mom to see me in bed at 3:30 in the afternoon..but if i could i would..i'm just so over putting on this front that 'everything is okay' it's not..and i'm fucking miserable.