vane

I wanna (re)move my head!

Do you know the trippy type of hangover, when you're afraid to do anything since it might either make you feel better or 3000 times worse and you're not sure if it's worth the risk? You spend what seems like an enormous amount of time thinking if you should move your head or not. Food is also complicated, since it might cure you or just take you over the edge to a complete hell. For an unknown reason, at this stage, it's impossible to close your mouth and keep it closed for more than 10 seconds. Your neighbors see you walking the dog and wonder what went so horribly wrong that you decided to get yourself lobotomized and that they thought they don't do that shit anymore. You don't care, you still feel like you've got the upper hand cos nobody knows you're wearing no underwear and your dress is inside out. Flashes of you eating someones leftover kebab like a hobo, while acting like a superstar diva, make your head hurt with incongruity and shame. Asking for a job at that restaurant after the discouraging "don't do it" from basically everyone was also a bit of a faux pas. I didn't get the job but it's ok, now I have more time to think about life's big issues such as whether or not to move my head.

xx