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van_skahl

Thunder Bay

Member Since 2013

Followers 27 Following 49

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Of Icarus

Jul 28, 2014
3
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Too much of the bad shit, and my mind is in a state of limbo.

Cigarettes and a dusty saucer - a cup of coffee and a blank page;
An informal suicide note.

Eloquent as never but just as incredulous.
I have begun moving along the line.

This - my friend - is a perfect spiral,
and I am not quite sure which direction it leads.

Call it poetry - or song, if melody permeates your perception -
I call it a whimper of hesitant outrage:
"What have I become?"

This is what some would call the threshold,
and I've got both feet in the air, hands glues to my eyes.

There's a hard landing in my nearest future
and I've stomped the ground into a hardened, cracked surface.

We were never meant to fly.

...

Here goes everything.

peppers_:
Well, frankly the first time I read it I thought it was a kind of poetry or something .. but now that I pay more attention, I feel you were trying to communicate the way you felt when you wrote it. I like it, is a bit different from the conventional, but it's a good thing. Greetings!
Aug 4, 2014
van_skahl:
@peppers_ You're quite perceptive! I appreciate the fact that you gave it more than a once-over! I was in the middle of a long night of introspection, and tried to put myself into the perspective of myself at the point of impending doom. I shared this with my partner, who said it was "unnerving", but wouldn't elaborate on that. I feel pretty good about this one, it seems to convey my feelings to an adequate degree. I had my doubts about it since the previous feedback I had received from the few others who cared to share gave only vague responses of "I liked it. Icarus is cool."  .... Is there anything you don't particularly like about my writings? I would love to hear some critical feedback about what I may be able to improve upon (aside from punctuation errors and spelling issues, haha!) . You seem to have an eye and mind for this sort of stuff? :) 
Aug 5, 2014

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