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van_goghs_ear

woodhaven curently residing in farmington hills

Member Since 2005

Followers 10 Following 12

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Wednesday Aug 24, 2005

Aug 23, 2005
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well i did it. yesterday i registered for a class. i know it's only one class but it's one foot forward i guess. the class dosen't even start until september 7th but holy fuck am i nervous. i'm going to try and not let my social anxiety cripple me this time though.

on a less nervous note theres a screening of chaos thursday night that i'm going to. i cannot wait to see this everything i've read makes it sound like it's one of the more graphic/hardcore horror flicks in recent years. i hope it lives up to my expectations. ebert has a decent war of words with the filmmakers on his site which is hyping it even more for me. come on thursday night get here!!!
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
jena:
Hey......your post gave me warm feeling, just a feel-good thing. blush biggrin So much good stuff and I love it. We have good talks! tongue biggrin I love them and I got happier that you recalled our first contact was over that scene. love That was amazing. You pray for stuff like that just that someone "gets" whatever it is sometimes. ARRR!!!

[like talking about a crushing movie and saying to someone "Dude did that shit destroy you?" Answer: "Yeah. I got fucked. It was so awesome." And then you love it and get excited, laughing that this film got you like that.]

Anyway, that was nice to tell me about your story with your mom. I got one you would like-you reminded me of something sweet:
I knew someone who held on to a story his dad always held on to for him, and I believe it was like a "life lesson" thing--re: faith, pain, anything. So that dad got suspended from school as a child and why? He wouldn't rise to salute the flag. eeek eeek eeek I won't bore you with the whole story but you know it's great either way. He was a KID and he wasn't trying to be anything, he just didn't understand. And they threw him out of school! HIS father tells him at home during the suspension, I'm proud of you, son. You did the right thing. You didn't do a BAD thing but you did right for your heart. Whatever makes you unsure is okay because you don't know and maybe you don't have to. But you use your gut and that gets you through your life. You don't need to salute shit to justify yourself and how you live. love love

The story...Golly I can't believe I remember it was written in a hardcore zine I used to write columns for and it was one I fell in love with b/c I knew this jerk and how iron he was and I was like, that is the sweetest shit ever and that's what I like in my writing/whatever it is. It was very awesome.

You and I do that, we let off little life things that are cute and help ya out.

I didn't get to church today and I screamed "GODAMN IT" over this when I saw the clock. tongue Tomorrow's Sunday, though. Holy enough.

I am so flattered by your feedback of my review. blush I will go check; I just kinda got on line now.

But thank you again, you inspire me and I hope you're having a good one, duh. EL SUICIDO LOCO EL SUICIDO LOCO EL SUICIDO LOCO EL SUICIDO LOCO wink
Aug 27, 2005
jena:
blush Awwwwwwwesome. You know I had a horrible fear last post of "I am talking SO much I'm going to really piss this guy off." So it's totally rad that at random you say you like to hear everything, awwww. tongue Because I feel like I really want to gush these things but then I stop myself b/c it's the internet, it's an odd place (the site) and I'm actually a little more hyper than usual. But I'm relieved it's well received anyway! :whew: Yay......

First you should know I have The Life Aquatic soundtrack on. love Did I mention....I bought a ticket to see Seu Jorge play here live!?!? I saw it on a flyer/had no idea and nearly broke a cold sweat. Got my ticket the next day. I attend maybe a concert a year, so this feels like pending luxory, not just my yearly treat! love

Anyhoo. Your other comments after the church question were so sweet, wow, I haven't been asked that in a while. !?!!? If ever. Or maybe once. And you will have to do the same. So maybe I should just approach it in my own style...

Tell you about me...I have to tell you that I'm in the midst of some sort of rapture right now, and it's very startling. I proclaim--literally, that previous to this past year (before my last birthday) I lived my world as a victim. The problem with that is if you don't catch it soon enough you're gonna wind up dead, on drugs or whatever. It hit me like a bolt of lightening last year, scared the shit out of me and while I've certainly had some fumblings since then, I have been literally like a boxer or something in seeing that my life never returns to what it always was. And that's funny you know? How do you fight your whole life if you don't know anything else--it seems you could do anything better maybe but I need something more permanent I guess. But it's scary as well.

It's a funny thing to be just plowing along your life and you wake up one day to be hit with YOU JUST WOKE UP (from a nightmare? a fantasy? what?) and for me, I'm being informed that this is my last year in my 20's. Really now, I'm 30 next year and I just got here? Like this with only what I brought now? At first I was mad but now, I can't believe what I've been able to do on my own that I can't imagine the "regular" shit like, I need to go back to school for example...hmm. Maybe I'm just in time.

Maybe you can tell why I've been so obsessed with BIll Murray now, with his reportrayal of the same role, of what is it--is it the grown up child in an older man's body looking around? I know you know what I'm talking about, but it's one of the reasons I find pleasure in his roles/films. I feel like that. Maybe.

As for my personal resume, like things that are revealing about me: I have my sister's nickname tattooed across my arm and I only have tattoos b/c they are gifts from a best friend. I've only had one boyfriend in my life-for 2 years on and off and I hated him through most of it. I only finally became a cat mother last year, by chance. One was a gift and the other similar. I never wanted one because they get sick or die eventually and I couldn't have any heartbreak, but I totally got broken. My favorite rock star guy is Nick Cave but I'm totally not afraid to shut off one of his cds when he starts sounding like a drunk angry ex husband. I'm from Brooklyn and I have no relationship with either of my parents. I'm kind of alone in Philly, no buddies and not a lot of friends period. I visit my favorite thrift store once a week, every week and each time find a golden ticket while normally always never spending more than a buck on anything. I visit other thifts as well and it's just my biggest hobby. I am pretty nostalgic for anything expired. I go nuts in general for any film that is supposed to be miserable and I find something so beautiful I cry from that beauty and if I get a good cry, I feel happy. It's a free release but in exchange for beauty. I only wear black. I never wear pants. I love my grandparents. I love a lot of mainstream rock. I used to be a too-good-for-that punk rocker and now I do not care. Although Glenn Danzig owns a place in my heart. tongue

Fuck now you go. Say funny stuff.

{that KILLED me, the random TLA quote---- love love love love }

Now I tell you, let's go get this shark.
Aug 27, 2005

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