vampirestarcat

deep breathes are helpful today. first valentine's day alone in three years is no fun for me. i hate the fact that i'm so overly romantic that five months later i still can't stop dreaming about her. when you love someone, it isn't easy to live through any holiday without them. so far it's been a struggle for me to get through things day to day, and i wish i had the ability to try harder. my friends say i seem more in touch, better some how, but i don't feel like that. i still feel like i'm sinking.

i love a lot of people. my friends and my family. i'm grateful for them, but nothing replaces her. nothing will, at least not for a while. i hate thinking lately. dreaming especially. i miss her so much, even though i know i would be miserable if things had gone on the way they did. i'm so stuck in this, even though it's over. i can't move on.