So, the band in which I play the drums is recording an album. This is supremely frustrating for a number of reasons. Looming large among these reasons, as you may have guessed from looking at my profile picture, is the fact that I am not a drummer. Yes, I play the drums, but I am about as adept at driving a drum kit as our president is at forming sentences. He can do it, and he generally gets his point across, but it seldom flows and is hardly ever pretty. This makes many of our songs doomed before we even get all the tracks laid down. Poor Stacy and Jessica, who are no better at their respective instruments than I am at mine, have their difficulties compounded by being forced to concentrate on matching my tempo irregularities as they play.
Another fount of frustration is the fact that I very much CAN play both the guitar and the bass, but we decided, as a band, in a very democratic process (see footnote 1) that this album would, in addition (and, evidently, in precedence, or possibly even preference) to whatever else, represent our progress as operators of our respective instruments. I have been recording nearly as long as I have been a musician (see footnote 2), while S & J are largely uninitiated, and this only compounds this aspect of the problem. I feel like I'm using some sort of high-tech NASA imaging device to photograph a subject who actually needs one of those dark, blurry webcam shots that makes even people like me look hot.
But that's not quite an accurate metaphor, because most of these really are good songs. The producer part of me, the engineer part of me, the jaded part of me that has been exposed to a sliver of the seedy underbelly of the music industry oh so badly wants to do these songs justice. If I had my way, I would bring Steve (see footnote 3) in to play a couple of the harder drum parts, play all the guitar and bass parts myself, and leave the singing to the ladies, who really do sing well (see footnote 4). For most projects (especially those with outside financing, not that we have any), it would be a miracle that a "replacement musician" would even be a memeber of the band. Alas, however, it appears that this is somehow not honest or real enough for us. After all, it's only grey hair, right?
What the problem really boils down to, though, is the fact that I hate myself, I hate my life, and I hate my job, and this (see footnote 5) is the only thing that gives me any kind of sense of accomplishment or worth. I need a hobby from my hobby. Please, someone, engage me.
P.S. I hope this satisfies the pushy and impatient.
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1. Remember, it was a very similar democratic process by which we elected our current president.
2. The term "musician" here becomes loose enough to make this statement's truth value relevant.
3. Steve is the drummer for the band in which I play the guitar, and easily the best drummer with whom I have ever worked (see footnote 3a).
3a. He is not "Sexy" Steve Arkonovich, to quell Al's curiosity.
4. Their singing is, far and away, the most competently executed part of our music. It's the only reason people we don't know ever stick around to watch us. Well, that and the fact that they're both really hot.
5. Making recordings.
Another fount of frustration is the fact that I very much CAN play both the guitar and the bass, but we decided, as a band, in a very democratic process (see footnote 1) that this album would, in addition (and, evidently, in precedence, or possibly even preference) to whatever else, represent our progress as operators of our respective instruments. I have been recording nearly as long as I have been a musician (see footnote 2), while S & J are largely uninitiated, and this only compounds this aspect of the problem. I feel like I'm using some sort of high-tech NASA imaging device to photograph a subject who actually needs one of those dark, blurry webcam shots that makes even people like me look hot.
But that's not quite an accurate metaphor, because most of these really are good songs. The producer part of me, the engineer part of me, the jaded part of me that has been exposed to a sliver of the seedy underbelly of the music industry oh so badly wants to do these songs justice. If I had my way, I would bring Steve (see footnote 3) in to play a couple of the harder drum parts, play all the guitar and bass parts myself, and leave the singing to the ladies, who really do sing well (see footnote 4). For most projects (especially those with outside financing, not that we have any), it would be a miracle that a "replacement musician" would even be a memeber of the band. Alas, however, it appears that this is somehow not honest or real enough for us. After all, it's only grey hair, right?
What the problem really boils down to, though, is the fact that I hate myself, I hate my life, and I hate my job, and this (see footnote 5) is the only thing that gives me any kind of sense of accomplishment or worth. I need a hobby from my hobby. Please, someone, engage me.
P.S. I hope this satisfies the pushy and impatient.
-----
1. Remember, it was a very similar democratic process by which we elected our current president.
2. The term "musician" here becomes loose enough to make this statement's truth value relevant.
3. Steve is the drummer for the band in which I play the guitar, and easily the best drummer with whom I have ever worked (see footnote 3a).
3a. He is not "Sexy" Steve Arkonovich, to quell Al's curiosity.
4. Their singing is, far and away, the most competently executed part of our music. It's the only reason people we don't know ever stick around to watch us. Well, that and the fact that they're both really hot.
5. Making recordings.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I remember making recordings. It was hard, and I kinda sucked at the bass.
Oh wait, the girls are hot? Just Pussycat outfits, then. And tambourines.
And seeing as Interview With A Vampire was partially filmed in New Orleans, the sofa making you think of both the city and the film makes sense. On a related note, part of Angelheart was shot in my apartment building.