vampirate

Man, it's below freezing, and I'm sick.

I used to love sick days. Sitting around at home playing video games all day was always way more awesome than being feverish and headachey was sucky. The work piling up wasn't a big deal because I was immature and irresponsible and probably wasn't going to have done all of it, anyway. There was something comforting about the lightheaded/lightbodied feeling (see footnote 1), the being wrapped in blankets, the interminable eight-bit soundtrack of, say, Dragon Warrior or SMB2. The refrigerator always seemed to have juice in it.

Now that I've recently acquired a laptop for the first time in my life (see footnote 2), which facilitates being a lazy bum with unprecedented efficiency, sick days might be cool again, except for tendonitis, not getting paid but work still piling up (see footnote 3), the unsatisfying feeling of uselessness, the inefficacy of my usual source of solitary solace (see footnote 4), my noticably lower baseline state of bodily comfort due to my noticably more advanced age, and the fact that I'm generally too cheap to buy juice.

So come hang out at my pity party. I promise that it's a way less uncomfortable affair than the ones I was throwing a year ago. We'll count my blessings; it'll be fun. Then you can go out and buy me some juice.

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1. It was kind of like being on drugs, and then you added the cold medicine.
2. Thanks, babe!
3. And, you know, not work that I can blow off because I'm twelve.
4. Booze will just make me feel worse. I've Proved It With the Scientific Method.