In 16 hours I will be on a plane, which will take me to another plane, which will take me to France. My girlfriend has been gone for just over five months, and her semester is finally over and I am going out to visit her and help her move back.
My feelings on the matter are...complicated. For the first few months I missed her nonstop, a constant ache that she wasn't here. After a while, I sort of figured out how to live, and I still missed her, but we both learned to live without the other's constant presence. Now, I am really realizing how much we have both changed over these months, and my worst fear is that we won't fit the way that we used to, that we won't get along, that we'll split up. Considering that we have been together for four years, the five months that she has been gone may not seem like much in comparison. However, the two weeks I was gone on work last year was, before she went abroad, the longest we had been apart since we started dating. I know that I have changed in the last five months, and I know that she has, too. I do not think that my feelings for her have changed, but then I think, how do I know? I recognize that I am overthinking this, and I am really excited about going and seeing her. But, I also have these fears, unfortunately. I hope that everything on the trip goes wonderfully and we live Happily Ever After.
My cat (technically, one of my cats, but he's the one that I usually mean when I say "my cat") knows that I am leaving. He has been acting really lovey all week, and he has also been extra aggressive with the other cats. Every time I open the bedroom door he sprints to go inside, because he knows that I won't leave with him in there, and he knows that I am going to leave. Not only that, but he seems to also know where I am going. Today, while I was packing, he jumped onto the shelf where my girlfriend's sweaters are folded, and he kneaded at them and sniffed them and purred unusually loudly. I do not know what it is like when a cat sees its owner after being separated for five months. He certainly seems to remember her, but will her recognize her? Her smell will be different. I know that even if they do not recognize/remember her right away, they will warm up to her with time, but I hope for a Disney moment where the cats see their mommy and a beam of light shines down and everyone in the audience cries.
I should probably head towards bed. Au revoir, SG.
My feelings on the matter are...complicated. For the first few months I missed her nonstop, a constant ache that she wasn't here. After a while, I sort of figured out how to live, and I still missed her, but we both learned to live without the other's constant presence. Now, I am really realizing how much we have both changed over these months, and my worst fear is that we won't fit the way that we used to, that we won't get along, that we'll split up. Considering that we have been together for four years, the five months that she has been gone may not seem like much in comparison. However, the two weeks I was gone on work last year was, before she went abroad, the longest we had been apart since we started dating. I know that I have changed in the last five months, and I know that she has, too. I do not think that my feelings for her have changed, but then I think, how do I know? I recognize that I am overthinking this, and I am really excited about going and seeing her. But, I also have these fears, unfortunately. I hope that everything on the trip goes wonderfully and we live Happily Ever After.
My cat (technically, one of my cats, but he's the one that I usually mean when I say "my cat") knows that I am leaving. He has been acting really lovey all week, and he has also been extra aggressive with the other cats. Every time I open the bedroom door he sprints to go inside, because he knows that I won't leave with him in there, and he knows that I am going to leave. Not only that, but he seems to also know where I am going. Today, while I was packing, he jumped onto the shelf where my girlfriend's sweaters are folded, and he kneaded at them and sniffed them and purred unusually loudly. I do not know what it is like when a cat sees its owner after being separated for five months. He certainly seems to remember her, but will her recognize her? Her smell will be different. I know that even if they do not recognize/remember her right away, they will warm up to her with time, but I hope for a Disney moment where the cats see their mommy and a beam of light shines down and everyone in the audience cries.
I should probably head towards bed. Au revoir, SG.
morgan:
The pet thing is so annoying, I am constantly finding places that'd be great, but they don't allow pets.