utterfailure

My Fellow Americans:


Thunderstorms are scary. My momma used ta tell me, when I was a boy, that thunderstorms was just god going bowling!! That's crazy!! Isn't that crazy?!?! Ahem...... Now I am older and much, much wiserer. I know, now, that thunderstorms are actually god trying to scare gay folks. OOGY BOOGY YOU HOMOS!!! If yer not gay you don't have to be afraid of thunderstorms! It's real simple folks.

Now on to tha next major threat to the mighty USA........ VIDEO GAMES! Don't worry about them pesky thangs. Congress is hard at work, toiling night and day, cracking down on video games to protect us. Now I know some of you may think we should worry about other stuff like:
-GLOBAL WARMING
-DISEASE
-EQUALITY
-EDUCATION
-THE ENERGY CRISIS
-WAR
But ya have ta understand, stuff like thet isn't fer government ta worry about!! Gays and video games is quite enough thank ya very much!!! Its hard work.

In conclusion I'd like ta say: Please, don't think too much and don't read. How do ya think I got where I am ? YEE HAW!!!

Freedoms on the March

W.