I had a bad dream last night, and woke up crying.
Now my dream is coming true.
It was so silly. But I made you dinner and dressed up and everything was beautiful.
And you decided to go out dancing.
You have something to be passionate about and it takes up all your time and thought. If I had that. . . . Maybe I should get out of here, maybe I will find my dream. If I could just see out of this hole.
I just feel like drinking and throwing glass bottles at the wall.
I want to jump a train.
I want everything I do now to be unquestionably, physically, visually irreparable. Tired of the hours disolving into days - months - a life of nothing.
I'm tired of being nothing.
It's not you. (ha ha ha)
It's just I have this horrible self esteem and I hate myself for not being enough. And you can't be there for me. So I need to get out of here before you see how horribly pathetic I am.
Now my dream is coming true.
It was so silly. But I made you dinner and dressed up and everything was beautiful.
And you decided to go out dancing.
You have something to be passionate about and it takes up all your time and thought. If I had that. . . . Maybe I should get out of here, maybe I will find my dream. If I could just see out of this hole.
I just feel like drinking and throwing glass bottles at the wall.
I want to jump a train.
I want everything I do now to be unquestionably, physically, visually irreparable. Tired of the hours disolving into days - months - a life of nothing.
I'm tired of being nothing.
It's not you. (ha ha ha)
It's just I have this horrible self esteem and I hate myself for not being enough. And you can't be there for me. So I need to get out of here before you see how horribly pathetic I am.