userunknown

I shall place my soap-box here everyone...


So. Fuck. I hate today. And my week, on the day before Monday, has been shot to hell.

You know how crappy it feels to get a phone call, from an ex....or three, and be told essentially the same thing?! I mean, what the fuck. Is this some bloody conspiracy?! Why did today have to be the day I get gang raped. I'm apparently many things, but what sucked the most was knowing that I was a thing of convenience. WTF is up with that? It's bullshit, that's for sure. And yes, I'm in a crappy mood now. I've already decided that tonight is a night for Scotch and Pepsi. Last night was manageable. I got to see this girl I like, and she's been having hard times so it was quiet and I was nervous but it ended with a nice hug and slight smile. Cool right? Yah, works for me. Considering what she's dealing with it was fine. Today was rough. S...L...O...W... day at work which means I have time to think about things. BAD! I had to think about this depressing news.

Is it so hard?! I mean really. Do I have to turn into an ass hole pig-dog or something? I like being the nice guy, I enjoy making people smile and happy, and I take great happiness in that. Where the hell is a woman who can appreciate that? Why is it so fucking hard. I ask very little, I really do. Be honest, be faithful, be open. Hmm, that's about it! And honesty up front would be nice. Not two years after you break up with me and decide to tell me that I was there because it made life 'easy' and it really never worked anyway. Fuck You! Tell me this AHEAD of time. I suppose it is true. The nice ones are taken advantage of and used. But ya know what's even worse. No matter what is said, and how much people can try and shove it down my throat, I will never be able to be the dick. It's not my nature. I can't be something I am not, and if you can handle it then too fucking bad. Just don't use that to your advantage. GRRRRR... I'm a lonely individual right now. I have great fears that things between me and the girl I like will not work out, and I sure as hell don't need anymore phone calls. I wish I had more real-life friends like my flatmate cause he's just awesome. Great friends help. I just wish he was home more often to hang with. S'okay. Time to make work friends maybe. I don't know. Whatever. Okay... Time to breathe.

I shall politely step down from my soap box now and go back to the tele, my T-Mobile Sidekick, and my bottle of Walker Green which I still need to open. Goodnight everyone. And thank you for listening to my shit, and not hating me. That's so rare right now, and so very much appreciated. 'Night.