ok so it's finally time for userlame's version of the story. Once upon a time he went to visit a girl named Synnove.
First i got in a car at freakin 4 am to go down to the airport. boarded my plane by about 9:30 and i was on my way. two time zones and a few flights later i arrived in crazy canada-land and found Synnove wandering the airport reading a brochure. yayyyyyyyy!!!!!!111 so into a cab we go and back to her apartment just in time to celebrate the new year.
now she's been telling me for like a month about this great THING she has to give me but WONT TELL ME WHAT IT IS. i was going CRAZY trying to figure out what it could possibly be but i couldn't even formulate a guess. even if i had i never would have guessed how great it was. best. gift. ever. seriously. in the history of the world, there have been maybe 5 of the best gifts ever given. screw all the other ones though anything else would pale in comparison to this. she gave me........she gave me freaking SPIDER JERUSALEM GLASSES. THE REAL FUCKING THING. THE GLASSES I'VE BEEN DYING FOR FOR YEARS.
AHHHHHHHHH!#%!#%!#!!!!!#%!!%$%&$%@!11 ABSOLUTE BEST THING EVER@!!!!!
so then we got real drunk and rang in 2004. after a quick trip to unconsciousness, we awoke the next day to cloudy heads and icky feelings. hers probably moreso than mine. after puking florescent yellow a couple times into the sink, Synnove discovered that she had been blessed that morning with the gift of some nasty diarrhea. and before she would relieve herself i was forced to go outside and wait so as not to here the lovely sounds of the brown splatters. awwwww she was all embaraaaaassed. haha
let's see what next....the food and beverage there wasn't quite up to par. that was ok but its difficult for a growing boy to survive an entire week without a coffeemaker and no decent cheese to be had in the entire freaking country. at least the beer was superior. I tried new foodstuffs as well that turned out to be quite good. Poutine, peach chutney....mmmmmmm. didn't try the meatless meatballs though.
we went to see return of the king one night. i couldn't believe there was still a line waiting to get in to the movie. cripes, it's been out for a while already. plus all the damn kids sitting behind us decided not to shut the fuck up the whole time.
but they were not enough of a distraction to spoil the good time had. also prior to the movie we were hanging out in a bookstore and found a vegan mag featuring an interview with Olivia and s5 which was super-cool. so cute. then i was practically dragged through the mall and through different stores. Synnove made a purchase of a bag with the biggest fucking zipper in the world.
and yeah, yeah, i did wake her up with my weirdass sleep talking. i completely remember having the conversation, so i must have been awake for it, but i still have NO fucking clue what i was going on about. the R room? wtf is the R room? whatever.
i made a complete mess of the apartment while i was there. walnut pieces everywhere, water spilled all over. not to mention spraying post-its all over right before i left. it got to the point where even a pillow falling over freaked me out cause i thought it was more crap spilling all over the place.
we watched a bunch of movies while i was there, all of which were quite good. although her vcr did manage to break so we couldnt watch May, which was only available on VHS. and we never got to play jenga.
then the last few days Synnove had to go to work while i stayed at her apartment and waited for her. those were kinda boring days and i felt bad that she had to get up at the butt crack of dawn every day. then i had to leave for the airport one morning while she was at work and the whole wonderful visit had to come to an end.
so now, here i am, back in this shithole of wisconsin. i miss being there and i miss Miss Synnove and i miss seeing who could fart louder, having my nose picked, waging war over her trying to stick things in my ears...i miss it all. so if anyone would like to please donate about 41570894670143616 dollars to send her to me please do so.
wow, that got really long, imma cut it off now. and this is the edited down version so i didnt even get to tell everything. bah. TAKE ME BAAAAAAAAACK!!
First i got in a car at freakin 4 am to go down to the airport. boarded my plane by about 9:30 and i was on my way. two time zones and a few flights later i arrived in crazy canada-land and found Synnove wandering the airport reading a brochure. yayyyyyyyy!!!!!!111 so into a cab we go and back to her apartment just in time to celebrate the new year.
now she's been telling me for like a month about this great THING she has to give me but WONT TELL ME WHAT IT IS. i was going CRAZY trying to figure out what it could possibly be but i couldn't even formulate a guess. even if i had i never would have guessed how great it was. best. gift. ever. seriously. in the history of the world, there have been maybe 5 of the best gifts ever given. screw all the other ones though anything else would pale in comparison to this. she gave me........she gave me freaking SPIDER JERUSALEM GLASSES. THE REAL FUCKING THING. THE GLASSES I'VE BEEN DYING FOR FOR YEARS.
AHHHHHHHHH!#%!#%!#!!!!!#%!!%$%&$%@!11 ABSOLUTE BEST THING EVER@!!!!!
so then we got real drunk and rang in 2004. after a quick trip to unconsciousness, we awoke the next day to cloudy heads and icky feelings. hers probably moreso than mine. after puking florescent yellow a couple times into the sink, Synnove discovered that she had been blessed that morning with the gift of some nasty diarrhea. and before she would relieve herself i was forced to go outside and wait so as not to here the lovely sounds of the brown splatters. awwwww she was all embaraaaaassed. haha
let's see what next....the food and beverage there wasn't quite up to par. that was ok but its difficult for a growing boy to survive an entire week without a coffeemaker and no decent cheese to be had in the entire freaking country. at least the beer was superior. I tried new foodstuffs as well that turned out to be quite good. Poutine, peach chutney....mmmmmmm. didn't try the meatless meatballs though.
we went to see return of the king one night. i couldn't believe there was still a line waiting to get in to the movie. cripes, it's been out for a while already. plus all the damn kids sitting behind us decided not to shut the fuck up the whole time.
but they were not enough of a distraction to spoil the good time had. also prior to the movie we were hanging out in a bookstore and found a vegan mag featuring an interview with Olivia and s5 which was super-cool. so cute. then i was practically dragged through the mall and through different stores. Synnove made a purchase of a bag with the biggest fucking zipper in the world.
and yeah, yeah, i did wake her up with my weirdass sleep talking. i completely remember having the conversation, so i must have been awake for it, but i still have NO fucking clue what i was going on about. the R room? wtf is the R room? whatever.
i made a complete mess of the apartment while i was there. walnut pieces everywhere, water spilled all over. not to mention spraying post-its all over right before i left. it got to the point where even a pillow falling over freaked me out cause i thought it was more crap spilling all over the place.
we watched a bunch of movies while i was there, all of which were quite good. although her vcr did manage to break so we couldnt watch May, which was only available on VHS.
and we never got to play jenga.
then the last few days Synnove had to go to work while i stayed at her apartment and waited for her. those were kinda boring days and i felt bad that she had to get up at the butt crack of dawn every day.
then i had to leave for the airport one morning while she was at work and the whole wonderful visit had to come to an end.
so now, here i am, back in this shithole of wisconsin. i miss being there and i miss Miss Synnove and i miss seeing who could fart louder, having my nose picked, waging war over her trying to stick things in my ears...i miss it all.
so if anyone would like to please donate about 41570894670143616 dollars to send her to me please do so.
wow, that got really long, imma cut it off now. and this is the edited down version so i didnt even get to tell everything. bah. TAKE ME BAAAAAAAAACK!!
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No, seriously, what's it called, I saw a page of it.