user92874974

So I got to thinking yesterday, who actually reads my journal? Am I only writing for Turbulence and Hood? If they are the only ones that read it then that's okay. Both of them are quite patient to read through my endless ranting and still have the energy to leave a comment.

Further reading of this journal is unnecessary. It is simply me bitching about anything and everything.

I've been kinda bummed out this week due to being sick and a couple other things. I've got so little energy and it's driving me mad.

I've had to stop spending time with a few of my friends due to a few different reasons. Most recently, a friend has seemingly fallen for me quite hard despite everything.

There is so much to do this week but very little time and money to do it. The lack of funds due to being off work so much is pretty sucky too.

I'm really sick of being ill all the time. I can't see most of my friends because they're all afraid of getting sick. Or they're sick and afraid we'll swap illnesses. The antibiotics make me feel even more ill, I've got a headache that won't go away no matter what I do, a cough that everyone at work keeps bugging me about and absolutely no energy to do any of the things I need to do.

I hate my job, all of my bosses/supervisors treat me like I'm a complete idiot and they all smell really really bad. Especially the owner, he's always got tuna breath or worse and he leans right into your face to talk to you. He repeats things over and over again. Him and his son can be pretty mean too, making fun of myself and my coworkers. Often about things we cannot just change on a whim such as weight, etc. The next time Dave asks me "Are you eating again? You really shouldn't eat that much. You certainly don't need it. **insert chuckle**" I swear I'm going to throw a chair at his fucking head.

I want to go back to school but the course I'm interested in taking doesn't start until November. I really can't quit this job to get a different because I need the medical plan and can't wait the three extra months to get it somewhere else.

I called the doctors office today to find out if they'd made the appointment with the surgeon for me yet and the receptionist told me the doctor forgot to give them the request for it. AND the doctor has gone on vacation until the end of the month. Fanfuckingtastic eh? So I have to go to the doctors for a THIRD time just to get this damned referral. The first time I went the doctor told me to come back when I could actually talk to him about it.

My plans for the weekend *may* be totally screwed up. But I'll have to wait and see. I still don't know the exact plans for Ed's birthday party on Friday. Nor do I know what's happening on Saturday now as my boyfriend is feeling quite ill. I'm sure he'll be doing better by then, but you know how boys like to whine when they're sick. So I have to think of an alternative plan just in case. I don't know if I'd have as much fun without him there on Saturday. Sigh. But what can I do? If he's sick, he's sick not much can be done about that.

I guess I'm just not in a very good headspace at the moment. I've been given way too much time to just sit and think with having been sick so long. You know me, I'm better off if I'm busy. Alone time is important, but so is busy time. Too much alone time is bad. Although too much of anything can be a bad thing I suppose.

What I really want right now is just to have a nice long conversation with someone about something completely unrelated. Something light hearted and fun.

I'd also like to be able to just snuggle up to someone I care about and go to sleep. I don't know why, but there's just something so wonderful about falling asleep next to someone you care about.