Yesterday we thought a lot about the fact that we are all very different, and once we made our choice how to build this life.
You see, once I decided that I would not have children.
No, it did not happen spontaneously.
Since my childhood I have not experienced love for dolls, puppsies, did not play in "daughter / mother", did not like to braid bridesmaids and so on. The girls in the yard knew from the childhood that they would get married and they would have children. I grew up like a boy. She loved the designer, cars, cartoons about robots, dreamed of a bicycle and conquered courtyard roofs and garages with boys. I do not know how I survived, we sometimes did this.
Of course, I always knew that I would have a family.
After all, everyone lives like this, right? It's necessary, right?
But the more time passed, the less I was fascinated by these thoughts.
Already in my youth, I began to understand that my life would turn out differently when at the age of 13 I began to plan and draw my tattoos, and in general to be interested in art. Something told me then that this will be my way.
And at 14 I had my first job as an artist-designer. I remember those feelings when I received my first salary. It was happiness and the realization that the whole world before me is open, and I can do whatever I want.
Already at 18 I was fascinated by photography, in parallel I studied painting. The photo began to yield income, fairly stable. And I left my parents. I always had the impression that if I had not escaped from the parent's wing, it would probably have been different. Bad or good it is already difficult to say, the choice is made. I really enjoyed my life.
But I still understood that the family, this is what I "need". Well, all the same you need? And the more I tried to fit into the stereotypes of society, the worse I got. I experienced severe and protracted depression, realizing that I can not escape the female "share".
I thought a lot that people who live without children are happy, are engaged in creativity, do not limit themselves in anything, they can leave at any moment and so on. But one day I got the courage, collected all the will into a fist and admitted to myself that I would not live like this. And no one has the right to decide for me what I need. I always felt that this was not my way.
Suddenly, I decide to give up everything and go to Tibet, devote the rest of my life to the spiritual service. Well, how little? ☺️
As soon as I started to talk openly about this, rumors were rife, and that I was strange, and no one would love me like this, and how is it at all?
What the fuck is her choice right? Children it's good!
In general, a ton of negative. My family took up arms in the first place. Although in the family I was already a black sheep, and did not count on understanding. With age, my position was strengthened.
When I talked about this on the first date, the men were perplexed, angry, tried to change their minds - it was very funny. " Yes, damn it, on the first date. " Why on the first date do people ask about your desire to have children?
But inadequate filtered out very quickly. Then I got married, but we agreed that before the age of 30, I'll think about it. And he did not particularly like children and wanted. In any case, he said so and I concluded from the way he communicated with them.
This then he began to write stories, which we did not develop for this very reason. We split up and I already knew 200% that the family was not mine. Not so I like men to sacrifice for their sake with their body, fate, health and choice. My ex-friends was told: "Oh, you just did not meet the right man. You will meet, you will immediately give birth. " And for some reason they regretted me. How would I not a full-fledged woman, once I took this position.
It's just amazing how we manage to live by the medieval laws in the 21st century.
Classmates at the meeting looked at me with sadness, they say ... so they disfigured themselves, and there are no children, poor ... seriously, this is so. Of course, I was funny, because it's such a nonsense to climb to a person with such tactless questions. Now everything has changed. If before I left the answer, I was modest. That with the advent of my man in life, I have courage and confidence at times more. I clearly speak about my position, if they ask me.
We are both chillyfree. And if it was normal, I would not start this relationship. We came to the conclusion that children do not touch us, we are completely indifferent to them, and so we love peace and quiet, that we are not ready to sacrifice this.
My friends have children, and I really like these children, especially now that they are already becoming personalities. But in all other cases, I prefer to be somewhere away from children. I do not like high frequencies and destruction.
I'm very happy for the women who are happy in family life, you are really smart, but you are very few. In fact, I see divorced women with children, unhappy women in marriages, and women who do not like their children, and are afraid of public condemnation - this is a harsh reality. I see war, crises and poverty, and I do not know what it takes to be brave to create a new life in such a world. Who could overcome these fears and find in this happiness - you need to put monuments. But in my memory, no matter how much the world has changed - all the time is not for the better. I decided that I have one life, and I will live it as I want, without regrets. And I hope that among my acquaintances there are no people who regretted their choice. Just respect each other, and know ... what makes you happy, maybe not make another person happy.
From Tina with Love.
Thank you @RAMBO& @MISSY
