user0358038503895

i hate working opening to close. i feel like shit this morning and my apartment smells like cat and i dont like it. i was to open all the indows and turn the fans on and try to air out this place but thats really hard considering we're are not supposed to have cats and they would all be up in the windows trying to...
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i havent been able to sleep this late in so long. it feels really good. i'm not sure whats going with today yet though. i really want to go do something. i feel like i've been jocking michael too much lately but its because i havent had me car and i have had nothing to do. i dont know though. sam and i are supposed...
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i don't know whats going on with me lately. i feel so indecisive. i want something that i dont have and i cant even place what that thing is. life is so different than i thought it was going to be and i dont like that. why has it been so dark and rainy out this entire week. it depresses me. actually it just makes...
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of course you did. of course you fucking went out and drank and you dont even fucking car how i feel. how hurt i am and how hard im trying not to cry in front of you because all you would say is that im being a fucking idiot and that i cry over eveything. i cry all the time because i constantly feel hurt...
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i don't understand why you can't just give up one fucking thing for me. one thing. you know how against drinking i am. you know and you tell me that you respect me for being sraight edge and i should respect you and not care but sorry, being straight edge is something that's respectful. getting drunk seriously makes me fucking lose respect. i'm sorry that...
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i had the fucking best day. mike and i went to kings island and had a blast. we only rode two rides and we still had a great time just talking and walking around. and we havent done that in a long time. we havent even had a decent time together. sometimes when he looks at me, its like i know he's just thinking about...
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i fucking hate this. i come home thinking "maybe mike will be here and we can actually go to sleep at the same time for fucking once" and when i get here, hes fucking gone. he's at billy's and he says he will be home in a little bit but that could mean hours and i would really love it if he would get up...
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ah. i get to go to the zoo today. i fucking love the zoo. when sam i went the last time, there was this fucking adorable monkey looking thing and i just wanted to take it home, i cant remember the name now. what was that thing called. well, anyway, it had huge eyes and was so cute.

sam and i at the zoo being...
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i cut my hair today, i really like it. i feel extremely beautiful. on the other hand, i don't feel wanted at all. i miss my friends. i miss screaming "faggot" out the car window. its so easy to be around them, i dont have to worry about being PC. i can say "nigger" and they know im not racist. they know me so well....
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