shit is getting weird. i don't feel like myself. i feel out of my element. unsettled. a wee bit depressed even. i look in the mirror and hardly recognize myself. my insides don't match my outsides. i look like someone else. maybe like someone i used to know, but have long since let go. i think maybe this has spawned from bordem. life left idle. food allergies. fighting vital sustenance. lack of passion. just for the last couple days. not overpowering. i seem to forget when kept busy. to tired to retain my own thoughts even. strange.
you can get lost in it all, can't you..? the random boring everyday-ness. a person needs some passion, some vitality. love. something.
it's probably just around the corner, though. it always is.
You read the Bell Jar by Plath yet? Please do so at once if you haven't already.
You also need to get the hell out of Dodge. I can't figure out if you have too many connections tying you in there, or not enough.
Another great book: The Noonday Demon.
Frankly, I would get depressed where you are at too. There's a reason why I never left the house and just read Quantum Physics books all day.