Well folks as it turns out things are still sliding down hill for me. 
To my credit they are sliding slower than before, but still downward.
Reason I'm mentioning it?
I actually can't afford to keep up on this site.
I've loved hanging out with you folks the few times that we did, it's been awesome reading about your lives and having you comment on...
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To my credit they are sliding slower than before, but still downward.
Reason I'm mentioning it?
I actually can't afford to keep up on this site.
I've loved hanging out with you folks the few times that we did, it's been awesome reading about your lives and having you comment on...
Read More
lela:
peace out! 
suitsme:
take care of yourself dodger.... be well..
"If you don't have anything good to say don't say anything at all."
I've been quiet for a while, guess why.
Anybody know a cosmic secret on how to convince myself that I'm worthwhile?
Ahhh don't worry about it.. I'm just posting for the hell of it.
I've been quiet for a while, guess why.
Anybody know a cosmic secret on how to convince myself that I'm worthwhile?
Ahhh don't worry about it.. I'm just posting for the hell of it.
urbanhermit:
Pouty bitch... go have some icecream. 
rpg:
You need a kitten! I'm serious. 
Signs of aging.
I fell out of the tub on Thursday...
I didn't get dizzy, or slip on soap or anything that makes sense, I just lost my balance for no good reason and fell over. Landed outside of the tub, on the floor in front of the toilet. Got back up again and continued showering.
At first I thought it was funny, I didn't...
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I fell out of the tub on Thursday...
I didn't get dizzy, or slip on soap or anything that makes sense, I just lost my balance for no good reason and fell over. Landed outside of the tub, on the floor in front of the toilet. Got back up again and continued showering.
At first I thought it was funny, I didn't...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
mspurple:
a baseball bat could be dangerous... I think what you want is a helmet.... 
a baseball bat could be dangerous... I think what you want is a helmet.... 
applejax:
I've fallen out of the tub before for no bloody reason at all that I could discern...beyond the fact that I'm a tard-box, so I chalked it up to that!!!! So it's ok Dude, how in the hell can you sleep face down?! 
I know that it's hard to like oneself...but sometimes it gets so bad that everything just kinda falls apart, and sorta blows up in a blog that you kinda didn't even mean to write
Dude, how in the hell can you sleep face down?!
I know that it's hard to like oneself...but sometimes it gets so bad that everything just kinda falls apart, and sorta blows up in a blog that you kinda didn't even mean to write
Hooray for Job Hunting.
Boo for joblessness.
I've finally accepted the fact that I'm not going back to Staples.
I've been too long away from there and the stress I got from working there wasn't good for a guy like me anyway.
So now I search for something else, something that won't give me that kind of mental trauma.
Hmmmm I could shuck mail, oooo...
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Boo for joblessness.
I've finally accepted the fact that I'm not going back to Staples.
I've been too long away from there and the stress I got from working there wasn't good for a guy like me anyway.
So now I search for something else, something that won't give me that kind of mental trauma.
Hmmmm I could shuck mail, oooo...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
whitewidow:
You should totally do postal work so that when you have a bad day you can (no pun intended) go "postal"
lela:
passing out does suck. its not the ear that is the problem, its my inner ear. mine has always been fucked up (and i've always had problems with balance and headaches and other symptoms like that) but this is a whole new set of symptoms. scary as shit too!
we should all hang out tonight. i told some of the girls on here to text me later and let me know whats going on. you should make sure something is actually going on. cool!
we should all hang out tonight. i told some of the girls on here to text me later and let me know whats going on. you should make sure something is actually going on. cool!
Well, I'm officially back now. I finally got the machine working, and moved into the new place and everything.
How's everyone doing?
What did I miss?
How's everyone doing?
What did I miss?
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
whitewidow:
I'm finally here - though not settled yet. More to follow
nata:
very very very good idea man...maybe a bbq i will post that tomorrow and see what everyone else says
My computer is currently missing in action.
I've not been able to get to the interweb for almost ten days.
I'm not ignoring everyone, I'm frantically trying to tend a sick friend in hopes of avoiding surgery.
Wow, read that last sentence and realize I'm talking about a computer.
I really need to get out more.
I've not been able to get to the interweb for almost ten days.
I'm not ignoring everyone, I'm frantically trying to tend a sick friend in hopes of avoiding surgery.
Wow, read that last sentence and realize I'm talking about a computer.
I really need to get out more.
rpg:
Take care of your sick "friend" there buddy.
mspurple:
.... You know I take better care of my computer, than even my self 
Curses to you Afternoon Nap.
Here I was I spent most of the day getting ready for an awesome night hanging out with you awesome people.
Dinner at Viet Tai was going to be new and exciting, and then this Trailerpalooza I'd heard so much about.
Come 3:00 I was feeling a bit tired though, so I took what I thought would be a little...
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Here I was I spent most of the day getting ready for an awesome night hanging out with you awesome people.
Dinner at Viet Tai was going to be new and exciting, and then this Trailerpalooza I'd heard so much about.
Come 3:00 I was feeling a bit tired though, so I took what I thought would be a little...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
suitsme:
I'll forgive you this time... But the next time I have a party I might just send someone to collect you. We'll get you out more... just trust us... <evil maniacal laugh> (I spelled maniacal right... I'm amazed)
nata:
no worries...it was a good night but i will plan another get together for next month dont worry
Step 2.
I've finished going to the day hospital.
One month of my life dedicated to learning just how crappy mental disorders can be, and what kind of skills and techniques I can use to take more control of my day to day.
It was a good month.
Now I have to implement it.
I can't help but doubt myself.
However I now know that...
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I've finished going to the day hospital.
One month of my life dedicated to learning just how crappy mental disorders can be, and what kind of skills and techniques I can use to take more control of my day to day.
It was a good month.
Now I have to implement it.
I can't help but doubt myself.
However I now know that...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
nata:
so we are going to Viet Thai on friday at 6...check my blog for more details!!!
nata:
i hope everything is ok...you never came to supper?!?!
Two months.
That's all I've got until I have to move again.
I'm really getting sick of moving.
In the past six years I've moved 11 times.
9 of those were in the same 3 year span.
I moved into my current place under the condition that I would stay here at least two years, four if possible.
Things always come up though.
My whole...
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That's all I've got until I have to move again.
I'm really getting sick of moving.
In the past six years I've moved 11 times.
9 of those were in the same 3 year span.
I moved into my current place under the condition that I would stay here at least two years, four if possible.
Things always come up though.
My whole...
Read More
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
nata:
you totally made my day by saying i kick ass...it was nice to bump into you today...moving sucks, i hate moving and trust me when i say i have moved a lot ...i know you said you dont care where we go (on the 25th) but what is your fave place to eat? (that could be an option)
...i know you said you dont care where we go (on the 25th) but what is your fave place to eat? (that could be an option)
lela:
that was a pretty incredible comment on my blog, thank you.
it was just such an unexpected blow that i was caught all unprepared and dare i say.. vulnerable. at the time i was reclining in my seat, smiling to myself about how well the weekend was going. how happy i was. how *right* i was to put myself out there. he hit low and dirty and in the one spot i can't ever forgive anyone for.
i even asked him "why did you say that to me?? have i given you any indication that you would need to say something like that to me? or that i even needed you to be into me??" he was all "oh i was just saying..." which was almost even worse because he felt he could insult me on such a personal level and have it just be another topic of conversation. like who i am as a mother and who my child is as a person is something that can be dismissed so quickly and easily, so justifiably because hey, maybe i would turn out to be a daddy hunter or something. he even used the daddy hunter phrase.
that it happened just hours before mother's day felt like cruel irony.
i've moped around all day and am just about to meet a dear friend for drinks. i should be better soon. i've gone through worse and come out smiling. its just that sense of disappointment that is hard to shake. you know? disappointment and a very high level of feeling underappreciated.
it was just such an unexpected blow that i was caught all unprepared and dare i say.. vulnerable. at the time i was reclining in my seat, smiling to myself about how well the weekend was going. how happy i was. how *right* i was to put myself out there. he hit low and dirty and in the one spot i can't ever forgive anyone for.
i even asked him "why did you say that to me?? have i given you any indication that you would need to say something like that to me? or that i even needed you to be into me??" he was all "oh i was just saying..." which was almost even worse because he felt he could insult me on such a personal level and have it just be another topic of conversation. like who i am as a mother and who my child is as a person is something that can be dismissed so quickly and easily, so justifiably because hey, maybe i would turn out to be a daddy hunter or something. he even used the daddy hunter phrase.
that it happened just hours before mother's day felt like cruel irony.
i've moped around all day and am just about to meet a dear friend for drinks. i should be better soon. i've gone through worse and come out smiling. its just that sense of disappointment that is hard to shake. you know? disappointment and a very high level of feeling underappreciated.
Wow.. have I ever had a busy week.
In the hopes of bettering my overall situation I've been attending a program at the General Hospital called the Day Program.
It's basically a group support thing with nurses giving very informal lectures on coping skills for various situations.
The group is good I think, lots of positive info from the staff and the people there with...
Read More
In the hopes of bettering my overall situation I've been attending a program at the General Hospital called the Day Program.
It's basically a group support thing with nurses giving very informal lectures on coping skills for various situations.
The group is good I think, lots of positive info from the staff and the people there with...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
lela:
it is a very difficult thing to ask for help and then follow through on it. no one wants to admit to having mental health issues even though its all that secrecy and shame that makes it so difficult to get better. that you are taking meds and attending the day program is something to be proud of. there won't be any quick fixes to your circumstances but none of your efforts to take care of yourself will ever be a waste of your time. this will be a lifelong process of figuring out meds and dosages, finding a good support system, nurturing that support system, dealing with the crises which will inevitably come up (because they do for everyone), re-evaluating what you've done and what you want to try next, dabbling with different kinds of therapy, etc etc. however i personally think most people should spend that much time thinking about their mental health, so really, you just have a one up on them
like they tell the drunks, just take it one day at a time. its too much pressure to figure out how to deal with diagnoses like the one you got and all the changes that come with them, so just figure out what you need in order to make it through and maybe even feel content in the next day/week/month/hour. then do that. celebrate your small successes and breakthroughs as much as you celebrate the really big intense ones.
i have to admit i smiled when i read the part in this entry where you quoted what i said at sushi. no one has called me a wise woman in a long time, in fact some of the things the kids i work with say to me are pretty much opposite of that. reading your words was a refreshing change, let me tell ya. thank you.
like they tell the drunks, just take it one day at a time. its too much pressure to figure out how to deal with diagnoses like the one you got and all the changes that come with them, so just figure out what you need in order to make it through and maybe even feel content in the next day/week/month/hour. then do that. celebrate your small successes and breakthroughs as much as you celebrate the really big intense ones.
i have to admit i smiled when i read the part in this entry where you quoted what i said at sushi. no one has called me a wise woman in a long time, in fact some of the things the kids i work with say to me are pretty much opposite of that. reading your words was a refreshing change, let me tell ya. thank you.
beledi:
I'm happy to hear that things are turning around for you, dear. I don't know you very well, but I can tell just from the time I've spent with you that you are a truly wonderful soul.
I'm happy to hear that things are turning around for you, dear. I don't know you very well, but I can tell just from the time I've spent with you that you are a truly wonderful soul. Wow.. I am now the closest I've ever been to becoming desolate.
It's an interesting sensation.
I have few options right now, and no idea what's going to happen next.
Unfortunately that means I have practically no news to share as to what's going on.
Regardless, I enjoy Sushi and I enjoy good company with people.
It's an interesting sensation.
I have few options right now, and no idea what's going to happen next.
Unfortunately that means I have practically no news to share as to what's going on.
Regardless, I enjoy Sushi and I enjoy good company with people.
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mspurple:
You know, is not that she isn't responsible, I guess is more that she is old, and she has got to deal with a lot always... hahah I wasn't an easy task growing up either.... So I think she is just at the point where she wants to start having a quiet life, but is just not going very good, and even though we had our tough times I think she deserves it, so I just want to make sure she has it
whitewidow:
Well I enjoyed your company too cause you seem like a very interesting guy.......and that interests me
P.S - I am for hire if you need someone taken care of........think of me as a hitman who occasionally wears lipstick
P.S - I am for hire if you need someone taken care of........think of me as a hitman who occasionally wears lipstick
Should I be angry?
Or just scared?
Or just scared?
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whitewidow:
It was awsome meeting you last night. I only wish that I was gonna be around for many more Sask SG evnts Oh well - I am sure I will be back to visit every now and then And remember - you are always welcome to CA
Oh well - I am sure I will be back to visit every now and then And remember - you are always welcome to CA
nata:
are you planning to ever explain this mystery?