as i looked out the cracked window of the HUMVEE, a wave of nostalgia crept up on me. i had previously anticipated this happening and tried to prepare for it in a feeble attempt to shake it off. but when something so rare as this happens, you cannot fight it and expect to win. no, you must learn to embrace it when it finally does decide to show. perhaps i wanted to fight it because i already knew what lay ahead, and endless circle of sorts. when you abruptly cease all normal manner of life and are thrust into a land as alien as the cosmos, you cant help but look back......try to figure it all out. make sense of the madness.
so much.....so much has happened since june 6th. and now, travelling down this dusty road for the last time ever, i reflect on the countless times that i have traveled down this road before.
"look, here comes the little girl that always trades a big smile in return for some candy thrown her way........look, theres the little boy playing ball that looks just like your little brother jordan." .....theyre probably not all that different ... in a different world, they could have easily been close friends.
the kids....God the kids are so innocent, i swear. every time you drive through their villages, you are the main star in their parade. always smiling, waving, thumbs up......and i can see the look in their eyes. a look of hope. hope that maybe someday their lives will be better than the ones their parents lived. its a slim chance by even the most optimistic mind, but i am right there with them, sharing that hope. there arent too many things i will miss about afghanistan. in fact, the children are about it. i wonder when will they make the change? surely some hold out for longer than others.....
"look, theres the old man with the missing leg"
i try to imagine the horror of losing a limb to a landmine, but i cannot. such a cold and impersonal way to harm someone. his face is rugged and worn, and he does not wave nor does he smile. as we roll past him, he eyes me wearily with a look of mistrust. the wrinkles on his face tell the stories of fighting, war, and loss. this is all he knows. i can tell with him, he made the change a long time ago. so long ago in fact, its hard to imagine him as a child with the look of hope on his face at all. this is his world and it is a bleak place. sadly, the majority of people born here, will die here.
it has been a long strange ride, afghanistan. somedays i wondered whether the armored doors were there to protect me from them or to protect them from me. seven long months of mental and emotional highs & lows. yes, it is true that i made it out of there unscathed by the grace of God, but the consensus is hardly one of unbridled celebration. i cant help but look at the empty seat next to me on the plane. george should be sitting there but he is not. he will always be remembered by us, his brothers, as a hero.
operation enduring freedom. the war in afghanistan. its quickly becoming the forgotten war. forgotten unless you make a habit of reading the newspaper all the way through page 8. no, the war in iraq is far more controversial, hence more headline-worthy. so be it. i didnt come here to make the front page anyways. but i will say this....
the sacrifice that we have made over here is directly proportional to the progress that this country has made. i have seen it time and again first hand. i like to think that we helped create a generation gap....for the better. i like to think that these children will grow up and not lose that hope, nor their dreams. yeah, ive said it before, im a dreamer. but john lennon and i arent the only ones. its funny, in the beginning, all i wanted to do was climb mountains and kill terrorists. doing so has been one of the most exhilerating and rewards experiences thats can be found nowhere else in the world, save the united states marine corps. but somewhere along the way, i left my heart unguarded and let myself become attached to the people, especially the children. its days like these that i wish i could do more. days like these i wish i could save the world.
i looked in the rearview mirror until the cloud of dust swallowed the road whole behind me. they say not to look back, but i cant help thinking that i left a part of me in methar lam afghanistan. who would have known?
nevertheless. i am extatic in a subdued manner about going back to the beautiful island of oahu where my beautiful wife awaits me in just a few short days. there is much life to live.
i can rest now. its finally over.
*thank you to all of you on SG who have been there for me during this deployment. your support no doubt kept me going strong the entire time. and check your mailboxes soon.
so much.....so much has happened since june 6th. and now, travelling down this dusty road for the last time ever, i reflect on the countless times that i have traveled down this road before.
"look, here comes the little girl that always trades a big smile in return for some candy thrown her way........look, theres the little boy playing ball that looks just like your little brother jordan." .....theyre probably not all that different ... in a different world, they could have easily been close friends.
the kids....God the kids are so innocent, i swear. every time you drive through their villages, you are the main star in their parade. always smiling, waving, thumbs up......and i can see the look in their eyes. a look of hope. hope that maybe someday their lives will be better than the ones their parents lived. its a slim chance by even the most optimistic mind, but i am right there with them, sharing that hope. there arent too many things i will miss about afghanistan. in fact, the children are about it. i wonder when will they make the change? surely some hold out for longer than others.....
"look, theres the old man with the missing leg"
i try to imagine the horror of losing a limb to a landmine, but i cannot. such a cold and impersonal way to harm someone. his face is rugged and worn, and he does not wave nor does he smile. as we roll past him, he eyes me wearily with a look of mistrust. the wrinkles on his face tell the stories of fighting, war, and loss. this is all he knows. i can tell with him, he made the change a long time ago. so long ago in fact, its hard to imagine him as a child with the look of hope on his face at all. this is his world and it is a bleak place. sadly, the majority of people born here, will die here.
it has been a long strange ride, afghanistan. somedays i wondered whether the armored doors were there to protect me from them or to protect them from me. seven long months of mental and emotional highs & lows. yes, it is true that i made it out of there unscathed by the grace of God, but the consensus is hardly one of unbridled celebration. i cant help but look at the empty seat next to me on the plane. george should be sitting there but he is not. he will always be remembered by us, his brothers, as a hero.
operation enduring freedom. the war in afghanistan. its quickly becoming the forgotten war. forgotten unless you make a habit of reading the newspaper all the way through page 8. no, the war in iraq is far more controversial, hence more headline-worthy. so be it. i didnt come here to make the front page anyways. but i will say this....
the sacrifice that we have made over here is directly proportional to the progress that this country has made. i have seen it time and again first hand. i like to think that we helped create a generation gap....for the better. i like to think that these children will grow up and not lose that hope, nor their dreams. yeah, ive said it before, im a dreamer. but john lennon and i arent the only ones. its funny, in the beginning, all i wanted to do was climb mountains and kill terrorists. doing so has been one of the most exhilerating and rewards experiences thats can be found nowhere else in the world, save the united states marine corps. but somewhere along the way, i left my heart unguarded and let myself become attached to the people, especially the children. its days like these that i wish i could do more. days like these i wish i could save the world.
i looked in the rearview mirror until the cloud of dust swallowed the road whole behind me. they say not to look back, but i cant help thinking that i left a part of me in methar lam afghanistan. who would have known?
nevertheless. i am extatic in a subdued manner about going back to the beautiful island of oahu where my beautiful wife awaits me in just a few short days. there is much life to live.
i can rest now. its finally over.
*thank you to all of you on SG who have been there for me during this deployment. your support no doubt kept me going strong the entire time. and check your mailboxes soon.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
[Edited on Jan 05, 2006 6:25PM]