What the fuck is wrong with some people? Why to girls seem so cute, loveable and normal at first only to ever so slowly spiral down into what I can only call CRAZY!?!? Whats the deal ladies, fill me in here.
I'll preface this story by stating that I am, for the most part, a normal dude, with a way too normal job on the 12th floor of some fancy schmancy building. I've even been known to make people laugh with my 6th grade poo poo humor from time to time.
Anyway, last night I went out for some drinks with a girl I'd been dating on and mostly off for the past 4 months or so when one of my best friends called. The culprit saw "Michelle" on the display and proceeded to casually question who Michelle was. I explained it was one of the few people from work I hang out with outside of work, how she's married to my little sisters friend from high school, blah, blah, blah...
10 minutes later I'm defending myself from statements like, "I KNOW YOU FUCK HER DURING WORK!!, WHY ELSE WOULD SHE BE CALLING YOU SO LATE!!" She then proceeds to make these jumps in logic like (in your most psycho laugh) "hahaha, now I know why you didn't introduce me to that other bitch last week, YOU GUYS WERE FUCKING"
What the hell just happed here? 10 minutes ago we were having fun, hanging out, laughing, drinking. Now according to her every girl I come into contact with wants to hump me and I, thinking with the wrong head proceed to oblige. My life, according to her, is kinda like one of those Axe spray on deodorant/cologne commercials where guys become so irresistible they have to fight off hundreds of slutty chicks. Although I must admit, I do pray to God every night that when I wake up the next morning every girl will want to hump me. It has yet to happen.
Anyway, that wasn't the psycho part. Fast forward 45 minutes. We are sitting in my car and I am politely asking her to get out so I can go home. She refuses leave so she can prolong the fight as long as possible I guess. Finally after telling her this will be the last time we see each other, she starts crying, apologizing, etc. I reach across and open the door for her and unfasten her seat belt. "FINE ASSHOLE!" and she leaves. Ahhhh, finally some peace and quite.
I drive off and get home 20 minutes later. Park my car, look down to the cupholder where I keep my cell phone and its gone. NICE! I walk inside and call my cell phone. Ring ring... "I can't believe you fucking stole my phone! What the hell is wrong with you!" She says in her kindest smoochie voice "Oh hi honey, I think you left your phone in my purse by accident. I'll drop it off in the morning ok baby." Whoa.
This is getting long winded so to make an already long story shorter, I got my phone back this morning and started getting calls from people I haven't talked to in forever. Apparently the psycho beoch called EVERY NUMBER IN MY CONTACTS and left messages to everyone that I was an asshole and a manwhore. So thanks for leaving that message for my boss CAROLYN. What really pisses me off is that she was so wrong about everything. I totally love Michelle, but she's like a hot version of my little sister, thats all it was and thats how it will stay.
OK, rant over.
I know it dosn't help living near Man Jose, but at this point I'm thinking about starting a dating service the pre-screens for normalcy.
Oh, I finally put some pics up from my trip to the Philippines
I'll preface this story by stating that I am, for the most part, a normal dude, with a way too normal job on the 12th floor of some fancy schmancy building. I've even been known to make people laugh with my 6th grade poo poo humor from time to time.
Anyway, last night I went out for some drinks with a girl I'd been dating on and mostly off for the past 4 months or so when one of my best friends called. The culprit saw "Michelle" on the display and proceeded to casually question who Michelle was. I explained it was one of the few people from work I hang out with outside of work, how she's married to my little sisters friend from high school, blah, blah, blah...
10 minutes later I'm defending myself from statements like, "I KNOW YOU FUCK HER DURING WORK!!, WHY ELSE WOULD SHE BE CALLING YOU SO LATE!!" She then proceeds to make these jumps in logic like (in your most psycho laugh) "hahaha, now I know why you didn't introduce me to that other bitch last week, YOU GUYS WERE FUCKING"
What the hell just happed here? 10 minutes ago we were having fun, hanging out, laughing, drinking. Now according to her every girl I come into contact with wants to hump me and I, thinking with the wrong head proceed to oblige. My life, according to her, is kinda like one of those Axe spray on deodorant/cologne commercials where guys become so irresistible they have to fight off hundreds of slutty chicks. Although I must admit, I do pray to God every night that when I wake up the next morning every girl will want to hump me. It has yet to happen.
Anyway, that wasn't the psycho part. Fast forward 45 minutes. We are sitting in my car and I am politely asking her to get out so I can go home. She refuses leave so she can prolong the fight as long as possible I guess. Finally after telling her this will be the last time we see each other, she starts crying, apologizing, etc. I reach across and open the door for her and unfasten her seat belt. "FINE ASSHOLE!" and she leaves. Ahhhh, finally some peace and quite.
I drive off and get home 20 minutes later. Park my car, look down to the cupholder where I keep my cell phone and its gone. NICE! I walk inside and call my cell phone. Ring ring... "I can't believe you fucking stole my phone! What the hell is wrong with you!" She says in her kindest smoochie voice "Oh hi honey, I think you left your phone in my purse by accident. I'll drop it off in the morning ok baby." Whoa.
This is getting long winded so to make an already long story shorter, I got my phone back this morning and started getting calls from people I haven't talked to in forever. Apparently the psycho beoch called EVERY NUMBER IN MY CONTACTS and left messages to everyone that I was an asshole and a manwhore. So thanks for leaving that message for my boss CAROLYN. What really pisses me off is that she was so wrong about everything. I totally love Michelle, but she's like a hot version of my little sister, thats all it was and thats how it will stay.
OK, rant over.
I know it dosn't help living near Man Jose, but at this point I'm thinking about starting a dating service the pre-screens for normalcy.
Oh, I finally put some pics up from my trip to the Philippines
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I have had batshit insane girl drama too lately. I don't know what is wrong with these people.
Anyway, nice to meet you.