unrepentant

You say I have an unfair advantage because I'm sober
Truth is I want a really stiff drink
The kind that electrocutes the hackles on my neck and makes my innards rush up my bruised throat thus becoming outtards
And then another and another until I lose count
Maybe one more but only if you insist
I wanna be the contradiction, the liar who speaks the truth in broken promises and then tries his best to keep them
I wanna fray all over, slowly at first, as if I understand some well-kept secret about self-destruction but I'm really just making it up as I go along
I wanna punch out innocent bystanders while puking my dignity all over your brand new shoes and then swerve to avoid an oncoming bus of special needs children only to crash what little self-respect I still have over a steel guardrail and crawl from the wreckage, laughing all the way back into your arms
I wanna blackout sobbing while telling you how I really feel about world war and world peace and your world class piece of ass and then kiss you as if my life depended on it because during that all-too brief moment, it does