Where to start...
Wednesday... work and rain, lots of rain
Thursday... work, rain, gym, and then i did the zip line down on Fremont street! Went with chevyblaze87. it was good times, zip line and cheese fries, cant go wrong.
Friday... work, rain, gym is closed, Mario text me... (long conversation ensued, will explain), went with my crazy ass friend allielikewhoaa to Russian Circles and ran into a grip of people i know. i.e. Andre, Terry, Jesse, and botch27. She got crazy drunk and made out with some random dude and gave her number to some other... i just did my own thing, chilled on the bar and watched the band play a great show (when the crowd wasn't ruining the vibe) and then i snatched her up and went home... didn't get out of there and home til around 230 i think.
OK, so Mario (ex)
the "short" version... he hits me up to see how i am. we spoke for the first time in 2 years about a month ago and had lunch to catch up on how things are... basically everything for me is diff and everything for him is the same... shocker....
he eventually tells me he is sorry for not trying harder with me and fucking things up and how great it was with me and blah blah blah... sorry but way too little WAY too late... i have nothing against Mario as a person, we make good friends but it would never work long term with us and i have no intentions of trying again. i agreed with everything he said, Yes you dropped the ball, Yes you should have tried harder, Yes i was the best gf ever, Yes you are an idiot... haha, im not gonna lie to him i have no reason to and i didnt so anything wrong but try too hard.
he asks me how i am these days and i told it to him straight. ive changed a lot from the time we were together. i have my shit together and from being single since march and having 0 support system to fall back on when shit hits the fan ive grown a little harder, and a lot wiser. a lot has happened since we were together, im not the emotional wreck i was when we were together (most of that was because of him), im not co dependent, im not going to bite my tongue just to keep the peace when its something i should speak up about, my focus is ME and not making everyone around me happy for the first time in my life. it took me far too long to get my priorities straight.
anywho, he wants to hang out and i told him thats all fine and dandy but friends only, im not interested in rekindling or hooking up so we will see how that all goes. we make good friends but nothing more than that and if he cant handle that i have no problem cutting him right back out of my life.
wow i sound like a bitter bitch right now hahahaha... im not i promise, just would take too long to explain ALL of the details
**side note: While writing this ANOTHER ex I have just recently been catching back up with called me to chit chat, Pat. How funny.... he wants to hang tomorrow and catch up, that poor boy has so much drama in his life these days... I feel for him, however, he is the king of flakes so i will believe it when i see it if he calls or not. not gonna lose any sleep over it. another one i never had any issues with as a person, we make great friends, just the timing wasnt right and he has a lot of demons to face before he can move forward in life...
Like a certain someone said to me earlier today, "you really know how to pick 'em"
Like ive said, ive made some terrible decisions in the past, ive rushed into others i shouldnt have, but in the last year ive learned enough about myself and what i want and more importantly deserve out of life that i am confident when the right opportunity is placed in front of me i will recognize it and act on it and then all there is left to do is hope the feeling is reciprocated equally.
..........oh!
Saturday... Streeter finally came to pick up the extra bed, Had Blueberry Hill with the roomie, took a 6 hour nap :s , talked with Adam for a bit
, watched UFC 121 (I called every fight flawlessly, some good matches and finally Lesnar went down!) and then voila, here I am.
enough venting/ranting... i have no one to talk to about this crap so now you all must suffer through my babbling... i apologize :p
Wednesday... work and rain, lots of rain
Thursday... work, rain, gym, and then i did the zip line down on Fremont street! Went with chevyblaze87. it was good times, zip line and cheese fries, cant go wrong.
Friday... work, rain, gym is closed, Mario text me... (long conversation ensued, will explain), went with my crazy ass friend allielikewhoaa to Russian Circles and ran into a grip of people i know. i.e. Andre, Terry, Jesse, and botch27. She got crazy drunk and made out with some random dude and gave her number to some other... i just did my own thing, chilled on the bar and watched the band play a great show (when the crowd wasn't ruining the vibe) and then i snatched her up and went home... didn't get out of there and home til around 230 i think.
OK, so Mario (ex)
the "short" version... he hits me up to see how i am. we spoke for the first time in 2 years about a month ago and had lunch to catch up on how things are... basically everything for me is diff and everything for him is the same... shocker....
he eventually tells me he is sorry for not trying harder with me and fucking things up and how great it was with me and blah blah blah... sorry but way too little WAY too late... i have nothing against Mario as a person, we make good friends but it would never work long term with us and i have no intentions of trying again. i agreed with everything he said, Yes you dropped the ball, Yes you should have tried harder, Yes i was the best gf ever, Yes you are an idiot... haha, im not gonna lie to him i have no reason to and i didnt so anything wrong but try too hard.
he asks me how i am these days and i told it to him straight. ive changed a lot from the time we were together. i have my shit together and from being single since march and having 0 support system to fall back on when shit hits the fan ive grown a little harder, and a lot wiser. a lot has happened since we were together, im not the emotional wreck i was when we were together (most of that was because of him), im not co dependent, im not going to bite my tongue just to keep the peace when its something i should speak up about, my focus is ME and not making everyone around me happy for the first time in my life. it took me far too long to get my priorities straight.
anywho, he wants to hang out and i told him thats all fine and dandy but friends only, im not interested in rekindling or hooking up so we will see how that all goes. we make good friends but nothing more than that and if he cant handle that i have no problem cutting him right back out of my life.
wow i sound like a bitter bitch right now hahahaha... im not i promise, just would take too long to explain ALL of the details
**side note: While writing this ANOTHER ex I have just recently been catching back up with called me to chit chat, Pat. How funny.... he wants to hang tomorrow and catch up, that poor boy has so much drama in his life these days... I feel for him, however, he is the king of flakes so i will believe it when i see it if he calls or not. not gonna lose any sleep over it. another one i never had any issues with as a person, we make great friends, just the timing wasnt right and he has a lot of demons to face before he can move forward in life...
Like a certain someone said to me earlier today, "you really know how to pick 'em"
Like ive said, ive made some terrible decisions in the past, ive rushed into others i shouldnt have, but in the last year ive learned enough about myself and what i want and more importantly deserve out of life that i am confident when the right opportunity is placed in front of me i will recognize it and act on it and then all there is left to do is hope the feeling is reciprocated equally.
..........oh!
Saturday... Streeter finally came to pick up the extra bed, Had Blueberry Hill with the roomie, took a 6 hour nap :s , talked with Adam for a bit
, watched UFC 121 (I called every fight flawlessly, some good matches and finally Lesnar went down!) and then voila, here I am.
enough venting/ranting... i have no one to talk to about this crap so now you all must suffer through my babbling... i apologize :p
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
unholyroach:
You guys are awesome and I appreciate the positive thoughts! Ive been doing so much better in so many ways being completely on my own, and by on my own i dont mean just having a romantic relationship, i mean no family or friends really either. Not that Im a hermit, I just had to learn the hard that way that in the end the only one who is really there for you is... well... you.
triumphretro:
Amazing blog. It is cool to see things in a different light after a relationship and see how you've grown. The only person you really have in life, ultimately is you so you have to make sure you know who you are and what you want out of life. One day at a time works for me.