unbornbloom

So...ive got this premonition that I was reached out of ulterior neccessity-an underlying agenda fueled by perhaps a bit of boredom. this, it makes me unhappy, but, still a little glad that Im not envisioned with contemptuous malice..

So i detach myself from the situation and reflect:

I see a maze of bridge in an underground chamber, theyre falling apart left and right and its hard to tell which are stable and which arent.

Hating is exhaustive...
I kid myself and say "i dont actively hate, i just passively dont care for..."
but its not true... rather, it's not as if im consumed with the negative feelings, but, if it were so passive would i be so tired of it? I don't know.
maybe im a fool for being so accepting of things that come.
and i wish i were one who could don a permanent scowl toward certain people.
but i cant. i just cant keep up continuous anger toward anyone i know...
sometimes i think i just must be really goddamn dumb. I dont feel like it.
but i must be for actually wanting everyone one to be happy over crumpets and tea.
or maybe im selfish. maybe im selfcentered and greedy in prying for everyone to abandon their prejuidices on account of me.
It seemed mostly like the dramatic unpleasantrys had subsided...and i just hope im not ressurecting anything by admiting my desire for godamn treuce.

I stand on the bridge between two points of interest gripping a white flag in my teeth with my hands tied behind me. for the love of god, dont shoot.