Okay, so. Since my last blog was almost a year ago and I've gotten a bunch of comments and e-mails (and I've had a few drinks tonight), I figure it's time to make an update.
I don't know where I stand with SG. The entire reason I freaked out was because I had no idea why I was doing it. I don't know that I'm doing it for myself and I don't know that I'm doing it for external validation. The reason changes on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel empowered that I'm so free with my sexuality and sometimes I'm disgusted by the idea that I feel that I need to do this in order to feel free.
Honestly, I'm not a psychologist and I don't think I will ever really know what fuels me to do what I do, SG included.
So, that being said. I'm extremely lazy. I don't like getting all ready to take pictures. Most of the time I don't feel like it's worth it to get all fucking dressed up just so some random people on the internet can tell me I'm beautiful when I hear it a lot in person, too. That may sound egotistical, but it's true. And it's frustrating for ONE PERSON to tell you you're beautiful and that they want you to be involved in something and then forget something so vital about you in the same breath.
The people who run this website, undoubtedly think that women in general are beautiful. And for some reason, it really offended me that they couldn't keep my information straight. It felt like they were rushing their job and not being very thorough. It's frustrating to put so much energy into something and have it treated like nothing by someone who has the power to change your life. It's not easy for me to do my makeup and get all dolled up in order to sit and pose for pictures for an hour. But I obviously felt like it was worth it. And it felt like I was wasting my time when I could've been doing something more productive.
At the same time, I can't help but think that I reach a wider audience if I do this via internet and that maybe someone might actually give a shit eventually to research what I'm about and learn a thing or two.
Maybe there are smart people a lurkin' who will understand my values and principles, and maybe it's worth showing my tits in order for someone to have a deeper understanding of life.
And maybe I'm really doing this just to get attention. Who knows? And honestly, who really cares anymore anyway? I should just have another glass of wine and deal.
BUT anyone who read this far and is intrigued should come out to Warped Tour and buy some shit from the Selfless Murder tent because I will be there (all of July) and this entire blog WASN'T meant to promote that, but I figure I should because I have your attention.
Adios, ninos.
I don't know where I stand with SG. The entire reason I freaked out was because I had no idea why I was doing it. I don't know that I'm doing it for myself and I don't know that I'm doing it for external validation. The reason changes on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel empowered that I'm so free with my sexuality and sometimes I'm disgusted by the idea that I feel that I need to do this in order to feel free.
Honestly, I'm not a psychologist and I don't think I will ever really know what fuels me to do what I do, SG included.
So, that being said. I'm extremely lazy. I don't like getting all ready to take pictures. Most of the time I don't feel like it's worth it to get all fucking dressed up just so some random people on the internet can tell me I'm beautiful when I hear it a lot in person, too. That may sound egotistical, but it's true. And it's frustrating for ONE PERSON to tell you you're beautiful and that they want you to be involved in something and then forget something so vital about you in the same breath.
The people who run this website, undoubtedly think that women in general are beautiful. And for some reason, it really offended me that they couldn't keep my information straight. It felt like they were rushing their job and not being very thorough. It's frustrating to put so much energy into something and have it treated like nothing by someone who has the power to change your life. It's not easy for me to do my makeup and get all dolled up in order to sit and pose for pictures for an hour. But I obviously felt like it was worth it. And it felt like I was wasting my time when I could've been doing something more productive.
At the same time, I can't help but think that I reach a wider audience if I do this via internet and that maybe someone might actually give a shit eventually to research what I'm about and learn a thing or two.
Maybe there are smart people a lurkin' who will understand my values and principles, and maybe it's worth showing my tits in order for someone to have a deeper understanding of life.
And maybe I'm really doing this just to get attention. Who knows? And honestly, who really cares anymore anyway? I should just have another glass of wine and deal.
BUT anyone who read this far and is intrigued should come out to Warped Tour and buy some shit from the Selfless Murder tent because I will be there (all of July) and this entire blog WASN'T meant to promote that, but I figure I should because I have your attention.
Adios, ninos.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
insomniac309874:
goddess!!! absolute GODDESS!!!
sofia:
oh no ! did you come to montreal and i missed you!!??