ugolino

Every damn username I tried was taken already. Every single one. Ugolino was the cat who was munching on the skull of Ruggieri in the Divine Comedy. My real name Is Justin. I'm not particularly fond of that name, but as it is the name my mother and father gave me, there is not a whole lot I can do about it. There is an intoxicating smell in the air. I didn't really noticed it until today. I have opened all the windows so that I may indulge myself from any room in the house. That smell, that sweet nostalgic smell, is the smell of spring. I could never grow tired of that smell. I didn't even realize that the first day of spring was, was, when was it exactly? I don't know. But, though I'm not sure when it became spring, it is spring. And that is good news. My mom just found out she has breast cancer. That is bad news. That makes me not give a fuck about spring. Fuck spring. My mom has breast cancer. The doctors don't seem to worried though. It is only in the second stage. But cancer is cancer and I wouldn't wish it on my nemisis if I had one. My mom needs a break. The past few years have not been to good for her. Or me. I wish something good would happen. But of course, you can't wish for something good to happen and then wait for it to fall out of the sky. You have to make something good happen. I need to make major changes in my life before anything good happens. I really need to quit smoking weed and get my head straight. My head is not straight. It's pretty far from being straight. Mostly, things are shitty right now. Shitty and depressing. Unbearable sometimes. But there is a flip side to that coin. Life is beautiful. No matter how shitty things are, life is always beautiful. You just have to know where to look. In a sunset. In the moon. In the eyes of someone you love. In a song. In a movie. In a picture. In a meal. In a drive along the countryside. It's easier to get out of bed in the moring once you realize that. Even when things are shitty. We are all just tiny little specks on a tiny little speck orbiting in infinity. The only thing we humans can control in this life, is our actions. Thats it.