txakurgorri

I am very slowly losing my grip of my own mind. I can feel it coming.
The
dark and bloody creature that lives in me; slowly rising, stretching,
raking its constantly blood claws on my soul. I feel helpless to stop
it.
Yet I cannot let it out, to wreck havoc on my life.

She pushes me, inch by inch, to the point in which I am unable to
control
myself. The dark, red anger waits, ready to quench its thirst. The
rage
wants to wash it violent color over me; to take me to hell that
destroys
all that is my life. She knows this, yet she pushes, laughing...

Can I truly believe she is doing this on purpose or is it a defense
mechanism? I no longer can answer that with out any doubt. I just
want to
yell, "fuck off" and move and be done with it, and just not care
anymore...
but I can't.

How do you after seven years together? My friends tell me to just get
out
and move and re-build. I know this to be true, and will be my next
step
within the next couple of months. But, I am at the end of the rope. I
know not her plans, but her manipulations are clear. She has even
tried to
manipulate my friends into not spending time with just me, if she is
not
there as well. What do I do now?

What?