I'm at that dump the old start anew phase again. I have this undeniable feeling in me to do another clean sweep of all the people I know & see and just hang on to a few while I go out & make a whole new group of friends.
I never hang out with anyone I used to & spend my time with the same 3 guys all the time. They make me happy. They love me, I see no reason to be anywhere else.
I feel like I'm chasing a dream I'll never have, so instead of making myself bonkers trying to get it, for once I feel like just stepping out. Like "Hey, thanks for the beautiful night, I'm leaving now, see you around"
And I know it won't make a difference. I know that six months or more down the line he'll realize I haven't called...but I also know he'll be too stupid to put 2 & 2 together. I don't even think I'll remind him he's RSVP'd to go to Deanne's wedding with me.
I know that I have to make big changes. I do the same stupid shit over & over again and then ask why I let myself get lead down the same road by the same nice ass & great personality.
So this time I'm not going. I'm starting over with new people & seeing where it leads me.
Four weeks from now I'll be 25. A quarter of a century went by & I feel like I accomplished nothing. That's gotta change.
On a side note, I think I should mention that Louis Mandylor is one hot little man. He held a class at the theatre this week that kinda fell out for him, sold like 200 seats, had 3 people show up. I guess that's a win situation for him. Had a great time hanging out & groping him & his brother. The best part being...he'll be back in a month to grope again.
Er...I mean um.. teach. Yea, that's the ticket.
I never hang out with anyone I used to & spend my time with the same 3 guys all the time. They make me happy. They love me, I see no reason to be anywhere else.
I feel like I'm chasing a dream I'll never have, so instead of making myself bonkers trying to get it, for once I feel like just stepping out. Like "Hey, thanks for the beautiful night, I'm leaving now, see you around"
And I know it won't make a difference. I know that six months or more down the line he'll realize I haven't called...but I also know he'll be too stupid to put 2 & 2 together. I don't even think I'll remind him he's RSVP'd to go to Deanne's wedding with me.
I know that I have to make big changes. I do the same stupid shit over & over again and then ask why I let myself get lead down the same road by the same nice ass & great personality.
So this time I'm not going. I'm starting over with new people & seeing where it leads me.
Four weeks from now I'll be 25. A quarter of a century went by & I feel like I accomplished nothing. That's gotta change.
On a side note, I think I should mention that Louis Mandylor is one hot little man. He held a class at the theatre this week that kinda fell out for him, sold like 200 seats, had 3 people show up. I guess that's a win situation for him. Had a great time hanging out & groping him & his brother. The best part being...he'll be back in a month to grope again.
Er...I mean um.. teach. Yea, that's the ticket.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
egon:
man, that guy is hard to keep track of apparently.
egon:
Tell him not to worry. Since I will be studying for a 3.5 day exam that my entire future depends on, I will probably outnerd him.