Seeing how I was bored almost all day I decide to take a trip and where did I end up but none other then downtown Boise Idaho as I was seeing the sight of the mecca know as Idaho I noticed a small child next to me. He greeted me with a smile and asked me what I was doing I said "looking at this library" he responded with "that's not a library. It's a McDonalds" with a know it all tone. So I proceeded to beat the small child to death with a alley cat that just happened to be walking by. And seeing how you just can't leave a dead body in plain sight in the street I decided to stash the body in a near by dumpster. Unfortunately a nun happened to see me putting this small child in said dumpster. So I couldn't very well let this happen so I ran over to her and dropped kicked her in the face. Cause as we all know that the only real way to drop a nun in one hit. But just my luck the scream the nun let out drew the attention of a small asian man. I knew I couldn't take him in a fight seeing how Asians have been trained in the deadly arts since the day they are born. Then I remembered seeing documentary on the on the discovery channel and how there vision is based on movement. As he investigated I remanded very still. He sniffed around me as to catch my scent but lucky for me the child's blood I was covered in covered up my scent. He was about to go away when something startled me and my head turned and that was all he needed and let's just say after a Liu Kang flying kick, shoryuken , and cartwheel uppercut I was out. When I awoke I was being strung up in town square. I thought this was the punishment for the small child and the nun but apparently I would have just got a hefty fine for the child and the nun but seeing how the ally cat died while I was beating the child to dead in moved the punishment up to a lynching.
As I was there hanging I accepting my fate I looked out to see something I didn't expect to see. My hope the king of funk himself George Clinton. I couldn't think of why he was there he had a show in Issaquah Washington the same day so I asked "hey George what are you doing here don't you have a show in Issaquah Washington?" he responded with "yeah but when I heard you got into some trouble so I figured I'd help you out." That's George he'll always help out a friend when they need it. So he got the attention of the whole town and worked out a deal he'd play a show there if they would drop the charges against me and seeing how no one loves funk more then Idaho loves funk they happily agreed. So that night the good people of Boise we're treated to funk like only the king of funk could. The show was about over George told them he had a very special surprise for them as he went into the song jump a hole opened in the floor of the arena. And demons started to pour into the arena ripping everyone to pieces and feeding on there end trails then George turned to me with a smile and said no one messes with my friends. After the show me and George went out for ice cream while the damned were pillaging and setting the town ablaze I got moose tracks and he got rocky road as always. As we sat and watched the carnage I made the joke I guess I should have brought marshmallows. We both laughed so loud it almost drowned out the scream of pain of those that were still alive. It was a great day indeed.
As I was there hanging I accepting my fate I looked out to see something I didn't expect to see. My hope the king of funk himself George Clinton. I couldn't think of why he was there he had a show in Issaquah Washington the same day so I asked "hey George what are you doing here don't you have a show in Issaquah Washington?" he responded with "yeah but when I heard you got into some trouble so I figured I'd help you out." That's George he'll always help out a friend when they need it. So he got the attention of the whole town and worked out a deal he'd play a show there if they would drop the charges against me and seeing how no one loves funk more then Idaho loves funk they happily agreed. So that night the good people of Boise we're treated to funk like only the king of funk could. The show was about over George told them he had a very special surprise for them as he went into the song jump a hole opened in the floor of the arena. And demons started to pour into the arena ripping everyone to pieces and feeding on there end trails then George turned to me with a smile and said no one messes with my friends. After the show me and George went out for ice cream while the damned were pillaging and setting the town ablaze I got moose tracks and he got rocky road as always. As we sat and watched the carnage I made the joke I guess I should have brought marshmallows. We both laughed so loud it almost drowned out the scream of pain of those that were still alive. It was a great day indeed.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
snow:
i have a huge ego. fucking huge.
snow:
i have a huge ego. fucking huge.