One sneak from my shoot with atlanticlungs
Someone I'm Grateful For
ok this one might be a bit strange for dome of you, but just bare with me and hopefully it will all make bit of sense..... Hopefully :/
Background
As you may have already read somewhere high school was a bit of a horrible place for me I was a timid and shy mouse like person with a very very skinny and little body to go with it! I was bullied a decent amount about it and the few friend that I had use to tell me I was soo lucky to be that little and skinny which I didn't like at all, either! So I tried to make people like me, when people complained that I was boring and to quite, I trained myself to be loud around those people. I pushed myself really hard into studies and I tried to make myself pretty, not much worked and there was always something new to bully me about. I hit puberty late and within a couple of months I went from an aus size 6 to an aus size 12 my lady bumps grew from an AA to a E and my lady lump had put me in hospital! It was a pretty physically painful time! And to make things worse a girl had set a romour about school that I'd gotten a boob job! Boys started hitting on me Hardcore and I honest felt like an anused piece of meat that boys would only ever like me as a sexual object and girls would always hate me for my physical attributes! Anyway cutting it short I got depressed got a little fat became a bit of a recluse decide that if people were going to judge me on my looks that I was going to have show them I was intelligent! I set myself up to be a criminal psychologist! Hard arse and big on the brains! Well I failed! (Sorry so much background but it helps explain I swear)
Ok sooo then there is Red Indian (isn't it always a guy)
Red Indian is a guy I met (not his real name just a reference to a silly game he played) he use to come into the cafe I worked at with his flowing hippy hair his well train dog and this massive goofy grin! And I like him instantly he was strange and exciting we travelled and independent and I had just gone through the process of stopping being a people pleaer and dressing strangely cutting my hair odd and being weird,. So one day he bumps into me on that street and gives me a backwards complement and a week later we were dating! Turned out he had high function Aspergers, he was incredible intelligent and functioned on a different planet! We had a. Lot if issues in out relationship but it was an intense one. He taught me how to drive and showed me that it didn't matter what other people thought, he made me realise stuff about myself that I never knew and that it's ok to have people not like you! It was always up and down with him! He made me wait to lose my v plates with him because he wanted to be sure I was ready, but then when he did remove the plates he was tired and didn't want to and stop halfway even though he said he wanted to..... It was really fucked up our relationship and I always look back on it and feel confused as to whether or not I think it was a beautiful or horrific relationship!
Anyway I broke it off not long after my v plates wee gone cause u resented him for it and his Aspergers was taking a huge toll on my emotional state.
To the point
The point is the despite the beautiful mess odour relationship he showed me it was ok to have a bit of fun now and then and to break the rules and it's ok not to be the cookie cutter of society! He's probably the major influence in my life today and whilst we aren't in contact or on the best of terms I will always be grateful for the beautiful mess that was ours!
Fuck I just told you my life story up there! Sorry!
Anyway other things
Yesterday
Well yesterday I shot with too pretty birds @atlanticlungs and @lizziesky some sneaks will be leaked this week! But I can promise you I am in a world of pain from some of the angles we played with
