So I haven't updated in forever. I in theory want to be more active on this site but my involvement seems to continue to dwindle. 
I have been working on trying to stay positive about life but I have been feeling quite alone lately and anyone who makes attempts to get closer I have inadvertently pushed away.
and keeping the shitty people close.
I miss my life before I let zane back in, and now he is in I half want him out and am half afraid to let him go. I will be 27 in november and I still don't have my degree and I am still living at home, my feelings of loser dum is growing and the guy I am quasi dating is going to sleep with his wife (should be ex but they never finalized it but have been living apart for 2 years) tomorrow. I hate him for this and I don't know what I want to do, right now I have scheduled another date for Saturday which I was supposed to see zane on. Heh it's with my old dungeon master from my stint in Dungeons and dragons. I am curious about this. I have my fingers crossed that it goes well because I would enjoy nothing more than to have a functioning relationship in which I am not constantly worried that they are going to bring home an std.
FUCK IT
really don't want to deal with it right now so I am actively refusing to process my emotions.
I wish I did more with my life then work and have shitty relationships.
I have been working on trying to stay positive about life but I have been feeling quite alone lately and anyone who makes attempts to get closer I have inadvertently pushed away.
and keeping the shitty people close.
I miss my life before I let zane back in, and now he is in I half want him out and am half afraid to let him go. I will be 27 in november and I still don't have my degree and I am still living at home, my feelings of loser dum is growing and the guy I am quasi dating is going to sleep with his wife (should be ex but they never finalized it but have been living apart for 2 years) tomorrow. I hate him for this and I don't know what I want to do, right now I have scheduled another date for Saturday which I was supposed to see zane on. Heh it's with my old dungeon master from my stint in Dungeons and dragons. I am curious about this. I have my fingers crossed that it goes well because I would enjoy nothing more than to have a functioning relationship in which I am not constantly worried that they are going to bring home an std.
FUCK IT
really don't want to deal with it right now so I am actively refusing to process my emotions.
I wish I did more with my life then work and have shitty relationships.
vastybass:
Thankyou sweety