twiggy

Well, as I said in my last blog, not long till I get back to civilization (by which I mean my mans house which is not full of rowdy french adolescents, ok, they're 18/19/20 but rowdy I stand by). The one problem I'm finding with the idea of civilization is the idea of a new job. Part of me settling into a happy life in Canberra will be me having a job that makes me feel fulfilled and happy. I have no idea what that job would be. I have been in museums and galleries back in Scotland and enjoyed that but in Canberra most of them are owned by the government, I, being not a citizen am not allowed to work for the government so thats kind of out. I've been in retail for a long while too but retail is not exactly big bucks, I could work my way up to a regional manager post eventually, thats pretty good bucks but its an area I'm really kind of unsure I'm cut out for. That said, I have applied for a job at the new apple store that is opening in Canberra and am making a flying visit to attend the group interview/hiring day part of the process. I would love to work for apple but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much as I know competition will be fierce. Also, I know this is stupid and I shouldn't care but I've always felt I had to defend myself for working in retail and not something more 'worthy'. I have liked my jobs and taken a lot of personal growth and happiness from them. I know I don't save the world or create great art or run marathons but I like what I do and I'm good at it.


So, I am in a sort of career rut;
I have considered going back to school but to do what?! If I had any inkling of what I wanted to do at school I would push myself to finance it and go back but when I think of stuff I could be nothing greatly appeals, my degree in in photography, I don't want to do that as my job although I enjoy it (its kind of ironic that the only one of my friends who doesn't think they're a photographer is the one with the fucking degree huh? )I have found I have a crippling degree of shyness when it comes to promoting my work. I really really enjoyed my job in projection but its no exactly a growing field. If I went back to school I would love to get my head back into some English lit/creative writing work and then I would...work in retail some more I expect. Ditto things like womens studies (which might just make me angry) or more film theory, or more feminist film theory or continuing to subvert gaze theory to discuss my own tiny areas of interest. These are all areas of great interest to me but I would have no idea A-how to get into them B-If I even could get into another course and C-If I could get any kind of work out of them anyway. I've never been super drawn to academia as a career and now is hardly the time to get into an area that is so reliant on government funding and I wouldn't quite know what else to do with such areas of study, I mean, what does laura mulvey actually do of a day? Get up, make coffee, feed the cat and then what? (if laura mulvey does not have a cat my world view of female academics will be shattered!)

Ahem, anyway, I find myself with really little idea of what to apply for, I'm looking at adminny rolls to an extent but there's a slight feeling of that not actually being of much help. It would be a change but thats about it and could potentially leave me feeling the same about admin as I do now about retail. Maybe I should just plow head on into retail and work my ass off to get one of the few very well paying positions there are. I know I could do it but I'm not sure it would make me any happier and if I stay in retail I will never be able to go home for christmas.
I'm sorry, this is the dullest blog ever ever.
Cant wait for my wee flying visit and then to be home again for the long term.
xxx