tunnelslats

I was bored this morning and there wasn't anything good on tv so I went down to campus and talked to the cops. I asked them what would happen if they caught me in the tunnels and they said they'd lock me up in jail and throw away the key. But I think Perry Mason could get me off the hook. Those cops sure are pigs.
Then I went to the store and this lady touched me on the shoulder. I told her she'd look better without a head. And I meant it too! I got the hell out of there as fast as I could.
Then I watched Star Trek. Bones and Spock sure were arguing. I seen that episode before.
I saw Spider and he said he was gonna catch me in the tunnels. That Spider sure talks like sausage. He better watch it or one of these days he's gonna turn into a dog and nobody will listen to him when he says "woof woof woof." Nobody likes a dog. Some people say they're man's best friend but I say they're good for shit.
I went down to the tunnels and changed a couple of light bulbs. I drew a comic of the Dukes of Hazzard, where Bo gets a chainsaw and cuts Luke and Daisy's heads off. Then Boss Hog comes and shoots Bo and after he's dead he keeps shooting him. Then he drives over him in his Cadillac. It's pretty funny but it would've been better if I had a red pen for the blood. I should probably get one.
I think Slats is starting to get antsy. He's rocking around in his chair a lot, even though he's tied down pretty tight. I'm starting to think that he doesn't like sitting in a pile of his own feces and urine. What an asshole. If he wasn't gagged he'd probably tell me I should let him go or something.