tryst

Hi.

I'm a terrible person and should be considered unfit for exclusive relationships or even love.

I'm not joking. I don't even know how I can feel so certain about something one moment, and then something else comes along and completely blows my mind, and I'm left, erratically shifted, dramatically confused, TORN.

I don't even know if fickle is the word. See, my behaviour is SO erratic that I can't figure out if there is an abundance of love in my life or if it is missing entirely.

I think, and this may be a stretch, that I've forgotten what it is...

The thing about my journal is....well, it's honest...and after being kept for a long time, many of the people who read it may come to see a pattern. Girl obsesses, girl bores, girl flees. That's pretty much the story of my life. I'm never going to SETTLE.

I believe in fate -- and I'm not sure if I believe in soulmates, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to get as close as I possibly can to one in this small lifetime. If I end up alone, that's okay. At least I know on my deathbed, that I didn't settle.....

None of this rant really has to do with anything current in my life...it's just something I felt I would make known....so that no one will ever feel any pity for me when I pine over a guy. I'm unintentionally wicked...

"There is another world....there is a better world...oh, there must be...." -The Smiths.