tryptamine_____

for those of you who would like to see my fire pictures, please email me. i don't know how to post them or anything, and its going to be hard enough for me to figure out how to scale them down enough to fit in emails.

i am, indeed, sick. not pukey or anything, just really really tired. which sucks, cuz i forgot to pick...
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i think i'm getting sick. its all this stressing about sweden. whenever i get too stressed out, my stomach starts to act funny, and it felt like i had eaten a handful of rocks today. i am determined not to give up, and not to get sick either, but it requires a lot of rest and relaxation when i'm not too busy with worry, planning,...
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feeling a bit nauseaous. might be because i drank two rather strong drinks last night, got totally wasted, and then ate one little piece of bread and went to bed, then had to work 10 hours today. thank god i'm still young enough to do that shit to myself.

did some stock-up shopping yesterday. spent $102.94 on food. stood in the checkout line thinking about...
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i just spent the last 3 and a half hours searching the net for some sort of international job that doesn't require a college degree. seems like all i've gotten out of it is a pain in my back and a difficulty focusing my eyes on this teeny tiny print. on a good note, though, i've never ever researched anything that much in my life,...
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so apparently i'm seeing this boy.

he's the one i met while really drunk, for those of you who read my journal on a regular basis.

he called me today and said, "let's go for a drive." that is one of my favorite phrases ever, and i had absolutely no plans this weekend (a very rare occurence.) we drove around a little and went to...
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today has been a day of cravings. craving cigarettes, craving fire again, craving tonight to hang out with this cool boy i met recently....

i'm getting really tired of the current events forum already. its mostly just people insulting each other for having different beliefs. i try to be respectful to everyone, but its difficult when they are just monkeys throwing feces. which is disappointing,...
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i went to fire class last night. paul was trying to teach me new moves but i couldn't seem to get them, and the frustration of that on top of the whole moving-to-sweden drama reduced me to tears.

i wasn't sure if i should light my poi in such a state of mind.

DreamMaker said, "just do what you know."

L said, "i think you...
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goddamn motherfucking sonofabitch.

i talked to my friend in sweden last night. he says he didn't really say yes. then he proceeded to confuse the fuck out of me and basically tell me that he doesn't want to do it, without giving me any reason why. he said he was being the voice of reason but he DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY FUCKING REASON!

he said...
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my daydreams have shifted me into sweden. i might as well say goodbye and leave right now, because i'm already gone.

we were watching orange county last night. if you haven't seen it, its about a boy who decides he wants to be a writer, and tries to get into stanford cuz that's where his favorite writer is a professor. near the end, there is (of course) one of those scenes where he meets his idol and his idol turns out to be really super cool....
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