tryptamine_____

lonely again today. not the i'm-gonna-mope-and-cry kind of lonely, just that dull ache that fits so perfectly right below my ribcage.

sometimes, its super nice to walk around the city by myself, to sit and stare at walls by myself, to generally not have to deal with people's crap. but then there are days like this, where i want someone to feel close to and have quiet conversations about anything and everything with....

anyway, enough of that. my best friend called from sweden again last night, and we talked about me moving there. we're both thinking 2 years from now would be good. i could move there if i could find someone that i could live with for 3 years, as if we were in a relationship. you don't have to marry to move there; you can be "sambo", live-in boyfriend and/or girlfriend. he says he wants to ask around the lesbian community there to see if any girl would be willing to, but he doesn't really know how to approach it. how wierd would that be!

i'm still considering asking my friend david if he would be willing to do such an arrangement. but i'm also still hesitating. i don't really know why i'm hesitating anymore. come to think of it, it probably wouldn't hurt to ask. one of the very first things i said to him was that i wanted to move to sweden, and he got all excited, saying, "when will you move?" so that i had to clarify that there was no set date, just hope....