*sigh*
Job interview time at 6pm...Rather nervous, granted I have one job already, I need another to get by. Wish me luck everyone!
Trying to decide whether or not to go back to college. I'm rather confused about that bc of the baby. I want to go back to college and learn at my own pace thru Kaplan University, but will I be able to concentrate throughout the pregnancy? Granted I won't have to leave my house to learn, I can do it all online, but....I don't know!!!!!
Being pregnant at the age of 19 is so freakin' hard! I mean, there's the feeling of wanting to be a mommy, but then there's the wanting to be free and able to do things feeling too. I mean, by being pregnant, I now have to get married before I wanted to. Joe and I don't want to have the child out of marriage, so now we're forced into getting married a year before we wanted to
. Then there's the question of, will I be a good enough mother to my child? I'm so worried about that one. I don't want to be like my mother was: overprotective, but I also want to be involved in my child's life.
I have been anorexic for years, this pregnancy is making me eat like a horse, which is a good thing, but I have to keep forcing myself to eat. I hate food and I want to just stop eating bc of how much weight that I am gaining, but I know I can't for my baby's sake. This is a huge battle on the inside of me. I need to win the battle against anorexia...Hell with winning the battle, I need to win my WAR against it. I wanna be me again dammit. And GODDAMMIT I am going to have a healthy baby!!!!!! I need support in this because I am going to do this dammit!!!!!!!
Sorry about all the ranting, but I have so much on my mind at the moment and it's driving me crazy!
BTW I have new pics up, go check 'em out and let me know what you think by posting a comment!!
Job interview time at 6pm...Rather nervous, granted I have one job already, I need another to get by. Wish me luck everyone!
Trying to decide whether or not to go back to college. I'm rather confused about that bc of the baby. I want to go back to college and learn at my own pace thru Kaplan University, but will I be able to concentrate throughout the pregnancy? Granted I won't have to leave my house to learn, I can do it all online, but....I don't know!!!!!
Being pregnant at the age of 19 is so freakin' hard! I mean, there's the feeling of wanting to be a mommy, but then there's the wanting to be free and able to do things feeling too. I mean, by being pregnant, I now have to get married before I wanted to. Joe and I don't want to have the child out of marriage, so now we're forced into getting married a year before we wanted to
. Then there's the question of, will I be a good enough mother to my child? I'm so worried about that one. I don't want to be like my mother was: overprotective, but I also want to be involved in my child's life.
I have been anorexic for years, this pregnancy is making me eat like a horse, which is a good thing, but I have to keep forcing myself to eat. I hate food and I want to just stop eating bc of how much weight that I am gaining, but I know I can't for my baby's sake. This is a huge battle on the inside of me. I need to win the battle against anorexia...Hell with winning the battle, I need to win my WAR against it. I wanna be me again dammit. And GODDAMMIT I am going to have a healthy baby!!!!!! I need support in this because I am going to do this dammit!!!!!!!
Sorry about all the ranting, but I have so much on my mind at the moment and it's driving me crazy!
BTW I have new pics up, go check 'em out and let me know what you think by posting a comment!!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Hey, I know it's going to be tough, but you'll get through.
I honestly can't give you much advice. I've know a lot of people who were pregnant young. One of my best friends had a baby at 20, and she made it through college.
Also, I know you guys want to get married, but really make sure you really want to, ok? Don't do it if you're not sure. I know that may be harsh, but divorce is a very real thing, and it's harder and scarier than the alternative. I'm sure you guys have thought about it long and hard, and talked it over, but you just don't sound 100%
Keep eating lots of healthy food for that baby!
I'm trying to not sound like a total mom here, with my "Do this and that and make sure you..."
Anyway, Hang in there. YOU CAN DO T!
And cute pics!
God, that was a novel. Sorry!