I crack myself up. I just got back from the grocery store and everytime Im in the produce section I start to laugh. Why you ask? Because everytime Im searching for fruits and veggies I pretend I know what Im doing. Im standing there shoulder to shoulder with all of the old ladies and career housewives testing the firmness of tomatoes and other vegetables. But I dont know what Im testing for. Like I know how rip a fucking tomatoe should be, or what a good onion looks like. But still I filter through them squeezing and clawing as if they were breasts I were feeling for the first time. And I smile as I look around wondering if anyone realizes that Im a fraud and that I have no clue which is the perfect fruit or vegetable. But at least I leave the store with an acceptable item, and Ive never gotten sick from a foof that I have choosen. So I guess Im doing something right.
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