tron_96

Well, I've been 30 for two weeks now. I guess I don't feel much different, beyond the idea of finally being in my 30's. My body has slowed down a bit over the past few years, but funny enough I'm still in far better shape than the average person, even funnier that I'm completely out of shape (the shape I should be in, I mean). Took a health assessment a few weeks ago, expecting to get bad marks because I do NOT eat very healthy meals. And yet, I was told that I was quite healthy, a shock to me, but I guess it's good to know that I don't have to worry about a heart attack for good while.

I guess turning 30 does bother me a bit. It's not the age that gets me, though. It's where I hoped that I would be be by this age. I didn't expect anything perfect, as I'm not the best long-term planner. But, I did figure that I'd be in a better place financially, geographically, career-wise, etc. I actually came close to where I kind of hoped I'd be, until I lost my job last year. Since then, it's been a non-stop struggle to make ends meet. I've explained that in a previous post, so I won't go into details again. But year, at 30, I figured I'd be doing a lot better money-wise. Hell, I figured I'd be married by now (or at least, not be single). I figured that I'd have a kid too. But, at 30, and I'm not even close to where I hoped that I would be, and it's kind of depressing when I think about it. It doesn't help that I'm pretty much on my own out here. No family to help, maybe a couple of friends that can actually help when I really need it. I have no choice but to make it by. If I fail tomorrow, that's it. I have nothing to fall back on, I burned that out last year. I lose my job tomorrow, I'm screwed. I can't afford to fail, because if I do, I'm literally on the street. And that's a thought, along with others, that bother me now at 30. A part of me does wish that some significant things had gone different, things that would leave me in a better position than I am. But, at the same time, everything up to this point have made me into the man that I am today, have met the people that I've met, etc. Of course, I'll continue to press on, do what I need to in order to by.

I have a minor gripe that I have to get off of my chest, and it involves this thread. Now, don't get me wrong, I have no problem with the thread itself. If that's what any lady on this site wants (and there are a large majority that do), they're well well within their right to go for it. I probably would let the whole thing go, if it wasn't for the starting sentence by Alisa, "no offense to the black fellas but you usually get your own threads anyway and everywhere".

Really?

Really?!



We usually get our own threads? I'm sorry, but no, we don't. In my 6 years on this site, I have never seen a single thread dedicated to black men (outside of the SuicideBlacks group, and even rarely then). Now, I have no problem with this. It's somewhat expected for me at this point, especially in groups like the Masturbation group, Cockaholics group, V & E group, etc. Postings by black men in those groups is pretty damn rare, and the demand for black men in them even more rare. I'm okay with this, it's one of those things that I've gotten accustomed to over the years, both on and off this site. In a group like Masturbation, a VERY large majority of male posts are from the white guys in there, with the occasional black guy popping up. I'll admit, every now and then it's kind of sucks to see some of the black guys (myself included) overlooked. But, it's one of those things that's expected. As I said, we're not in high demand. A lot of women aren't attracted to that, and that's fine by me. I'm sometimes in the mood for a slender, shapely blond, and a curvy, voluptuous brunette or redhead. We all have our turn-ons, I'm cool with that. And I'm have no issue with Alisa for posting the thread. She seems cool as hell to me, and damn hot. But, that first sentence has bothered the hell out of me for over a week now, because it's just not true, at all. Sorry for my rant, my nitpickiness got the best of me on that one. Like I said, if it weren't for that one comment, I probably wouldn't have put nearly as much thought into it as I have.

Moving on...

One more month until summer ends, and I can't fucking wait. It's been in the triple-digits here for nearly 3 months now, and I'm about tired of the heat and humidity punching me in the face every time I open a door.

I finally got a new webcam last week. I was in much need of an upgrade from my 7 year old cam. Now, I only need to find a perverted use for it...

It's the weekend (not for me, of course). The roommate is gone until Sunday, so I'll be enjoying my privacy to the fullest (that means spending most of it in the nude). I've been on a Bruce Lee kick for a few weeks now, so I leave you all with this:



Until next time folks...

p.s. There's a very dear friend out there who I haven't had a chance to talk to in nearly 3 months, who I miss. You know who you are...